I Don't Love Her But I Don't Hate Her

     My wife is not perfect, and I could tell you all the things she does wrong.  But I also am not the perfect gentleman to be around.  I have my faults and sometimes I wish the seasons would be here where it was warmer so I can meditate on my circumstances. I love the open outdoors but not the cold.  Alright, this may be part of that great movie pertaining to my life at the moment and piratically a lot of marriages.

Uh huh, FIREPROOF.  I honestly would not have know this was going to happen to me. But if i need to love my own wife, the least I can do is give love that was missing in my own life. You can start a fire in another room without something sparking it or catching on from another area. Yeah, i keep walking back and fourth between that line of understand or knowing God.

But loving God was not something taught to me growing up. It was more of a ritual, every Sunday go to Mass and do the same thing. Its amazing I never snored in church.  So i took a long break from finding out. Should I go back, do I really need church or can I have an intimate relationship with god without other people. Honestly I can't stand other people I do not know or are in my boundary of close space.  I'm always the pleasing type and that's a lot of people to please. So why make the effort.  Yeah I read that comment, and no its just my behavior.

I am the hostess, but only to other people. Never to my own self or my family sometimes.  Its just too much work.  I'm so lazy when I get home, I have no will no inspiration to do anything but bumm on the couch or check out the Internet.

I don't love her, nor hate her.  I have a beautiful little girl who is very smart and taking up on her mamma's looks.  She's from me, she looks like me for the past 3 years but her baby fat is disappearing and now i think of the days when she's old enough to drive and I don't want that.  I stay for my kid, and I'm hoping I can put a spark into my love life. Well my marriage at least.      

nrcsguy nrcsguy
31-35, M
5 Responses Mar 7, 2009

Did you decide to go back to church? How's your relationship with wife? I recommend Fireproof all the time.

I have the same problem and talked to my wife about it It didn't do any good. Women think they are faultless so if you talk to them about something they should improve on, they won't listen. It's just like someone on welfare, as long as you keep the money coming, they will never look for a job...so by the same token, why the hell should she listen to you.

have you tried talking to your wife about all this. That is a mistake alot of people make. In you do it the right way, it could help and change things for the better.

I hope things are better. I haven't heard from you in a while. How's everything? <br />
:-/

My long story made short...My husband was abusive and a crack addict...He went to prison,I went wild..He started His personal relationship with God in prison,not jailhouse but true love for Christ.I was determined to leave Him.But God had other plans.I had grown up in church and knew "OF" God,but never knew Him.When I went wild,I strayed from God's lead in My life.God laid it on My heart to talk to "J" one day..He help lead Me back to Jesus.We became friends,that turned into affection that has turned into such love for(the once abusive,drug addict)now wonderful,kind,gentle and attentive man He is now...It wasn't "J" that did it.It wasn't Me...It was God's purpose,path and plan..We are going to go into prison ministry...God is so Good...<br />
Please first turn Yourself over to Jesus...Not for Your daughter or for Your wife,But for You..Neither of them can save You...Only The Messiah.Then after You have truely done that,then turn Your marriage over to Him..He can turn it around....<br />
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God bless You friend...Shiloh (: