Getting Through...

I got out of bad and unhealthy relationship about a year and half ago. The thing is it went really bad and he made me feel it was, mostly, because of me. I really felt in love with him and was detrmined to help him and love him as he was going through a hard time, the thing was that he wouldn't trust on me and always felt as i was cheating on him which i wasn't. He broke with me thinking i have been unfaithful to him and i felt it was my fault because maybe i had given him a reason to think that way.

After he left me, i felt like it was all my fault, that i was a liar(even though i knew i hadn't lie), i didnt know'what i wanted in life, i feel ugly,  don't even feel girly anymore as i started ëating my feelings"and got on 30 extra pounds which make me feel like i don't have curves or a good physique, i feel like a loser. I've tried doing new things but i'm just not into it, i don't feel anything, i don't feel excitement or happines or joy or pleasure just sadness. I feel my life has become very dull as i just wait for one day to get to another. I don't sleep well, i'm a mess as i got very unorganized, my eating habits are horrible, i was a very athlethic person and right now i don't even care of doing any excercise. I feel like i'm living under his shadow, even when i don;t think of him as much as before, it's just an horrible way of life.

I feel the only way i'm alive it's because i refuse to give up and i will get better, the thing is ...WHEN?

venezzia12 venezzia12
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 24, 2009

It's normal to feel how you are feeling. You need a good friend to do things with to get you back to feeling happy again, some one to laugh with. And you are going to feel better. That guy wasn't a good boyfriend or a good friend to you. You wouldn't call your friends liars or make them feel bad for trying to help you so why is it okay that he did. As time goes by and you make a good friend you will end up laughing about what a loser this guy was and you will meet some one new. Just take your time with the next one and don't work on the problems you encounter with the next guy, wait to see if he works on them first. Let the guy be the one to fix things. That is how it is supposed to be or you will end up in the same situation over and over again until you can't love anyone including your self. For now remember that food is for sustaining yourself, you can be very healthy on very little calories, the more food you put in your body to feel better the worse you are going to feel. It is probably true that you don't look like a 10 right now but don't worry because weight is temporary, it will go. You made a mistake you ate too much food that's that. Now stop eating and make your self work out. I know you don't care what you look like right now but you will definitely feel better about life if you look your best and feel your best and when you meet some one new you will feel confident about how you look. Besides 30 extra pounds isn't horrible but it is very dangerous you get sick and stay in bed for a week that's 10 more and if you do nothing about it you will gain 10 per year. And that is not healthy. Try to make healthy choices with food exersize, join a church and get into one of the groups at church don't just go on Sunday. Make sure to get out even when you don't want to and get out with some friends if you can but not to drink. Drinking will put more weight on you and will not make you feel better it is a depresent. You should also make a dr appointment and get on some anti depresents for now until you have things in perspective better. the bonus of taking prozac is you lose a lot of weight for the first week. You should call the universities in your area and see if they have free or sliding scale counseling or you should join a support group. Time does heal but you have to force your self to try to stop your self from thinking the bad thoughts about why he didn't want you. He didn't want you because he was a lunatic. You cleary loved him very very much and that is all anyone can hope fo to have some one that loves them and has their back. Just don't be too eager to love again. Make sure the next guy has your back first and loves you. Make a dating profile in a few months.

Sorry to hear that. Heartbreaks are the worse pain especially the guilt and rejection. <br />
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Start it right now!<br />
Don't give up! Take one step at a time, or jump forward a hop!<br />
You must understand that you are your own best friend. You will be the only person who will see through ALL your trials and successes through out life! People will come and go but you are always there!<br />
Sure, nobody is perfect. But you are beautiful and unique, revive yourself! There are people you haven't met yet that are waiting to you meet you and see you at your best.<br />
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Eating Healthy: Here is a great website: http://www.mypyramidtracker.gov/ <br />
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Take care of yourself!<br />
OH! Happy Special Day!

Get yourself some good support! Have people around<br />
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you that love you. Can you make some new friends? or<br />
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join any groups or activities? You can do it!The man <br />
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made you feel bad about yourself so don't go there!<br />
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Please be kind to yourself! I care!