Love/Hate

My first love...what a crock. He wasn't my first anything. Just another jerk...one right after another. We were 16. He was a "Druggie" and I was a good Christian girl who hung out with the "Band geeks" although I was too poor to afford to be in the band. It was sophomore year, the school year after summer when my life exploded and I attempted to tell my family about the years of sexual abuse I endured for the past two years. They never understood that situation until I screamed it at them at age 20.

I was feeling extremely low, depressed, suicidal sophomore year. Lost my virginity to his best friend(a heroine addict at the time) and a month later in my mess and plans of killing myself for everything I did to myself, he walked over and asked me to come over that weekend to get drunk. I did, we started dating. My hell got worse.

He was physically, mentally, verbally, and sexually abusive. He hated me and I had myself convinced I loved him. I made him a better person....better grades, better manners to his parents....and he destroyed what was left of my hope that there were good men out there. I stayed for a little over 2 years. I escaped to college and he is still to this day begging me to come back to him. Still. What a loser. Waste of air.

I definitely don't miss him.
silverlining silverlining
22-25, F
1 Response Jun 25, 2007

Good thing you are over him them.