"No One Will Ever Love You Like I Do"

my "first love" and I were 2gether for 4 years.  i was 18 and he was 31.  it took him 2 months to convince me that we should be together and finally i gave in.  the trouble started oh, about 6 months into the relationship.  things started disappearing.  from t.v.'s, playstation 2s, dvd players, our HUGE entertainment center to whatever.  this went on 4 a long time until one day i find out he's a crackhead.  i found a crack pipe in his pocket and flipped out.  so i told him to go into rehab or i was leaving him.  he did.  for 4 days.  and when he got out he was the same way. 

i spent 4 years with him.  why?  because i was young.  he was a pathological liar.  he was the most manipulative person i have ever met.  he would make a great salesman.  could sell a person some damn air.  my range of emotions went from loving him to feeling sorry for him to eventually hating him.  he disrespected me in sooo many ways.  i was so dumb i disrespected myself and allowed him to convince me that a ********* would be good for our relationship.  so we had not one but probably 5 of them with 3 different men.  i felt totally degraded and to this day i still do.  some people may think that ********** fit their relationship but i dont and never will.

the last year and a half we really didnt have a relationship.  i went over to his place basically because i had no one else.  i know he probably cheated on me most of our relationship but if i saw him he wouldn't admit it.  i cheated on him also.  he put me down, made me feel like i was nothing.  like no one else would ever love me.  his famous line was "No one will ever love you like I do".  my famous response was "I hope no one ever loves me the way you do."  I finally gained the courage to walk away for good. 

a couple weeks ago me and my best friend pulled into a gas station.  he was there.  it has been over a year since i finally broke free.  i had seen him a couple times since then and they weren't on good terms.  he went and talked to her.  he heard i had lost my job and whatever and said that he would give me some money.  LOL.  please.  he wouldn't talk to me because he was afraid i would flip out on him.  nah.  i'm done with that.  oh, and he still loves me.

i dont think the man really knows what love is.  the only person he cares about is himself and he doesn't even do that very good.  that is my first love.  what was i thinking???????

snobunny826 snobunny826
22-25, F
1 Response Jun 25, 2007

It's good that you got away, and recognize the relationship for what it was. I hope you can find someone who treats you better.