Doing Me Dirty

   When I was a young child I felt that true love would make whole. I fell in love with a boy named Dajuan whom I thought was the love of my life, he was the only one who I felt was actually their for me. Dajuan made me whole and kept a smile on my face each day. When we got together we were about 9 or 10 years of age. During that time we knew nothing about love, but as we grew together we started to feel that we knew what it actually was, and both of our hearts began to desire one another.

As me and Dajuan grew older we started to separate because I enrolled in a school far away and did not get home until late at night. Due to me wanting to be an independent person I began to look for a job. My looking for a job and attending school limited the hours of the week that he and I spent together. Since I was not around all the time anymore, Dajuan started to get involved with "school activities"-- and that made both of us busy people. I felt that although he knew where I was and how busy I was I expected him to still be by my side and make sure that everything was ok. My expectations meant nothing to Dajuan because he started cheating on me. One day i found a bra in his bed and that told me right then and there we weren't going to last long. I am the type of person who can only take so much and it was bad enough that we were not able to see each other. I had a lot of stress on my shoulders because I lost my father at the age of 13, but that meant nothing to him.

When I lost my father I felt like the world was coming to an end. As months and years went by, Dajuan and I really began to fall apart because he started cheating on me in my face; that broke my heart. By him cheating on me in my face and playing with my feelings, I had to let him go. I never saw it coming that he was going to start doing me dirty. One day I went to him and told him that I could not be with him anymore and his response was, "oh well, better luck next time." As those words rolled from his tongue I felt like my heart had jumped out and my life was never going to be complete. Breaking up with him was the hardest thing to do.

Dajuan was my first love and I could not take the pain that was held within...


Twin 1 Twin 1
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 20, 2006

He was doing all those horrible things to you because he didn't want to break up with you, he wanted you to break up him because then, in his mind, it wouldn't be his fault. Ending it must have been hard, but definitely for the better.

he sounds like an *******,u were right to leave him i woulda done the same thing.dont worry there are so many boys out there.