It's A Difficult One To Believe

But it's true.

For a long time, I have been looking for a man to make me happy; to save me from my depression; to make me a complete human being. I have believed that only a romantic relationship can fulfil me.

After many mistakes, false starts and disappoitments, I am now generally happy... and single. And I believe I can continue growing in fulfilment and maturity as an individual, without necessarily having a partner.

Don't get me wrong. I would love to find someone with whom I connect on an emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual level, and build a long-term relationship with that person. But if I don't, it's OK. Really. It doesn't mean I'm doomed; or that I am less of a person than people who are in a relationship.

I am happy, with or without that special person.
DancingFox DancingFox
31-35, F
1 Response May 15, 2012

Oh you poor thing. Come here *hugs*. Lol. Just kidding. I don't know if I wholly agree to be honest. Sometimes I think nature dictates that we need a partner. Without an innate drive for such partnership, I fear the human race would be doomed to extinction. <br />
Question: <br />
Do we need sex? Yes. <br />
Does sex make us happy/happier? Yes. <br />
Can you be happy without sex?<br />
Yes of course but ultimately you need it... And you'd rather have it than not wouldn't you agree?<br />
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I think of relationships along the same vein. It is something that we all need. That level of intimacy can only be realised with a lover. Why should you or anyone else for that matter be ashamed to admit that they need a partner? I think its all just a lie. We DO NEED to have that special someone and we should not be ashamed to acknowledge that. <br />
<br />
Nothing against the empowerment of women but I think this was or is some part of a feminist movement to get women to stop relying on men for love and affection. Well the truth is, we need each other. <br />
<br />
Men need sex, women need relationships. Can't we come to some agreement? Go ahead, sign on the dotted line. Once again, I kid, sort of. <br />
<br />
As someone once said; Men fake a relationship to have an ******, women fake an ****** to have a relationship. Me thinks that's not far from the truth. Men seem to have less of a desire for relationship for emotional or intellectual reasons. The animal kingdom is a great example of this. We are not the same, male and female, distinctly different we are. But together we can make fireworks... I mean we can make things work.<br />
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;-) Rowr...<br />
<br />
Sorry its late. I get horny when its late. :-)

I hear you. We do have a need for emotional connection and for a partner, and as I said, I'd love that - but I used to think a partner would fix my problems, and I've realised that actually, I am the only one who can do that. Also, I think I would be more attractive to a potential partner if I am a confident, happy person, than if I am an emotional wreck hoping to be rescued. Wouldn't you agree? In addition, if I spend my life pining after a partner, I'd just end up miserable. I have decided that I'd rather be happy regardless :)

Without repeating exactly what you've just said let me just say that I agree. But I still do wonder. Is it possible to be happy without a partner? For a short while I think yes, but long term I think not. But if you were happy being single, would you ever have the desire for a partner? We only desire to have something that we feel we lack or need. After you acknowledge that there is something missing from your life,surely you will make the effort to rectify that situation, failing to do so would indeed make you miserable. But that's just like anything else in life. You try until you reach your target. But if you feel like you don't lack anything, you stop pursuing/searching. You shouldn't pursue a partner to fix your issues, we can agree on that. But I think ultimately we do need someone to fall in love with. I think we are saying the same thing. Aren't we?