My partner & I have been together for 11+ years and we have an 18mo old son. I had gastric bypass about 2 years ago and in the last year my drinking has rapidly increased. My partner says it is the reason she is not affectionate at all with me as well as the root cause for our fighting. I am not at a stage where I would say that I'm an alcoholic although I probably am. The struggle with being first time parents and just growing apart from each other has added to my drinking for sure. She on the other hand has found comfort in over eating. I've stopped drinking altogether about 6mo ago for about 1-2 months and since there was no change in our relationship, I started drinking again. If me giving up drinking will salvage my relationship then I'm willing to do it. We had a huge fight just yesterday and I've been doing a lot of thinking since, not drinking. I found this App an thought it could be a way of expressing my feelings until I'm ready to make a well planned path for the rest of my life.
dietcoke4 dietcoke4
36-40, F
1 Response Sep 2, 2014

I am a recovering drug addict And it takes longer than just a few months of quitting to see a change. I am clean for 2 years and we still are not having sex yet.

Thank You for the reply. I agree for sure that expecting things to change overnight is not a way to go about things. For me it's not "just" the not having sex part its the lack of physical emotion at all. Truth is she always has been a "not very affectionate" person however since my son was born its been harder for me to cope. I guess maybe I see how loving she is with him in every way possible and to myself I think if she can show him that than she's capable of showing me that... maybe she just doesn't want to. Im just trying to take one day at a time, get sober, healthy, and focus on myself. Once my mind is clear I feel I will be able to make better choices for everyone involved.

Once she sees the effort you are putting forth in your own life fore instance i get up and go to the gym every day he sees this i eAt healthy he sees that. I quit smoking and he sees all of that. Those things Are All things that are adding to the quality of life for him and our daughter and it shows him im in it for the long haul not just instant gradification.