**** This.

every thing that happens seems to be one thing too much.

 

this week................ its just not ******* fair.

 

call me self pitying, say im attention seeking, tell me life isnt fair, i dont care.

 

when, in one week, your mother has tried to kill herself, you've reestablished contact with the father who ignored you for three years, you're preparing yourself for two years worth of therapy, you dream every night of a rape that happened seven years ago, you want just one person to talk to, but you dont have that any more, you have a broken heart and a dead brain, and really all you can think about is how nice it would be to sleep forever, and tell me that life isnt fair as if thats supposed to help anything.

 

 

i dont dispute how fair life is. i dont dispute that this is still my battle, and i cant pass the blame.

 

 

all i want is for someone to acknowledge that it ******* hurts, rahter than just lecture me, or tell me what to do, or what im doing wrong. do you have any idea how hard it is to hear? to you they are just a few words you strung togther in a quick solution that popped into your head. this is my life. it cant be solved by your comments such as 'you really shouldnt cut', 'you would feel better if you ate', 'things will look up soon'.

 

 

 

nothing will change. this week has been so painful. so so so painful. these last few weeks have been horrible. you cannot change that, you cannt make it go away, you cannot make it less painful, you cannot change my reaction.

 

 

so just come lie on the bathroom floor and cry with me.

Tesse Tesse
18-21, F
14 Responses Mar 6, 2009

I am there on the floor with you. I agree with DiscoveryChick, you are a strong person.

That reminds me of my (first) wedding day....in my wedding gown, sitting on the floor at the back of my closet and crying, sobbing. No one could get me out until my friend Terri came in in her burgundy satin dress and put her arm around me and we sat in the closet and cried for a while.<br />
<br />
(Gosh, maybe I should have taken that reaction as a sign that I shouldn't have married that guy...)<br />
<br />
Yeah. Your week has been total ****. The fact that you're even able to get yourself together enough to type this is a testament to your strength.

Just don't let me eat the whole 2 pound bag again. The last time I pooped "the rainbow" for a week ugh

you're all awesome.... thank you das :)

It does hurt, I told you the other day about my last time "lying on the bathroom floor " story so you know<br />
<br />
no speeches no promises, just a true understanding that it hurts a lot<br />
<br />
so move over I'm there on the floor with you buddy, I'll bring the skittles

*shuffles over* squeeze in brut! some of us might have to sit in the bath tub soon!

I'm here! I brought some oregano!

i have persons. im just not anyone elses person. :(

my friend nicknamed me Bambi after that episode where Izzie broke down and started shouting about how if anyone was the woodland creature trapped in the woods whos mum had just been killed by hunters it would be her :S

i love that episode! thats what i was thinking of when i said the bathroom floor thing.... where shes in that gorgeous gown and everyone tried to talk to her, and in the end all that helps is when merideth goes and lies on the floor with her.

No judgements. No bad advice. <br />
Just a:<br />
((((((((((( BIG HUG ))))))))))

:) thats floyd. i dont want to see you pee anyway :P

Ok, you have a big bathroom, and look the other side when I pee?

thank you mello..... i love you....... *snuggles*