Swept Under The Rug: The Confessions Of A Loner.

 I've pretty much been a lone wolf all of my life. Even when I had friends to hang out with I still preferred to be alone. Now that I'm older my outlook on life has changed and I'm starting to realize how much of a freaking hermit I really am. 

What's worse is that I don't drive and I live with my parents, which pretty much isolates me from social events. I'm in college right now so I don't have a lot of time to socialize, but I still want to have that part of college that seems so crucial to a lot of people. 

I just want the college experience and to have fun every once and a while, but with virtually not friends to hang out with, it's impossible. Because of my current predicament I don't get out much at all and when I do it's so exhilarating. 

My question is this, how do I make friends? I know there are many ways and self help books for this sort of thing, but none of them have helped me at all. When I try to talk to people it's like I don't exist sometimes or that I feel like I'm infringing on their time. I've been in a situation where I say something and then someone ignores me, which ****** me off!

Why do people do that? It's so rude! It gives one the impression that you don't care what that person has to say and that you don't have any respect for them either. I've tried to be more assertive, but it's hard when you're not used to being so. 

All the friends that I've gotten close to have betrayed me in someway, which doesn't look good on my track record. I've tried to be a good friend, a good listener and have helped them numerous times in the past when either of them had a problem. Regardless of this, they still used me and then discarded me like yesterday's news. 

I for one am sick and tired of being treated like this! I'm not as shy as I used to be, but I'm still not to the point where I'm confident with my social skills.  How about you? Do you feel the same way? Am I the only one who's constantly being swept under the rug?

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6 Responses Sep 25, 2012

It was the same way for me college, and no afterwards, even though I have my apartment and car and a good job, I still end up holed up in my room because there's one who'll go out with me. It sucks. It's like I've lost the ability to make friends. And don't get me started on the people ignoring you thing. I HATE THAT! It's like a punch to my gut every time it happens. Makes me avoid interaction and speaking up in the first place which sucks even more.

I can relate to you alot. My panic attacks and everyday generalised anxiety makes me a loner staying to myself and those self help books, programs dont help me alot either. When I do have a good day and try to talk to people I get ignored or get A go to hell look form them. When I make friends, it is only because I have something to offer them. they use me and come around only when I can do something for them. And then just ditch me. I do drive only because I live alone and have no one to take me places. I really hope something works out for you because I dont want anyone to have to live like this, it is hell on earth.

no it happens to me also

Ok it happens to me also too.

I do only what i can do, i stay home and EP. Actually i do have kind of associate friends at an art group i attend.

i have just learned to accept it for what it was and continue to make the most out of life by doing things i enjoy doing

It happens to me too.

I feel the same way, but I have started to get a little more confident with myself. I have been a loner for most of my life and so want out of it. I am sick of being by myself and seeing others getting married or be in relationships. I can't drive either and that always seems to be one thing I am not accepted by people/society. The main reason for being taboo in society is that I have epilepsy. People also don't believe me when I tell them everything about me and all I have been through; so that is the reason I have stopped telling people things feeling it's a waste of time. In spite of having been through college and having an education, things still seem to feel pointless.

If I could afford college right now, I think math would be the major I'd go for. Best of luck with everything you have going on (thanks for believing me).

No problem

OMG... hon, exact same situation with me!!!!!! Ditto!

Bah! I only saw the comment now lol. No not at all! Yes of course we already are. It's sad because we only get one life. One chance to go through our teenage years, one chance to go through college etc. And I grew up with none of those social experiences in high school and college that most other "normal" people do. In university I just went to class, and came back to my apartment each day. Tried my best to 'click' with others around me, but I had absolutely nothing in common with anyone. Everyone was part of their own friendship circles, or else stayed aloof and kept to themselves and didn't want to converse. Now I am out of uni, and into the real world and having to work hard. While that isn't a bad thing, the social situation hasn't changed. I just work with a few colleagues who are much older than me, so no way I could be actual friends with them and nor are they interested. I just feel that all I ever did was work, work and work all my life and still am having to now, with absolutely zero fun or socialization. All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl!

I think I know why you wanted to be alone even when you had friends. I think I can relate to that part too. It's when you're not on similar wavelengths with those friends... like when they have different tastes, ideals, love to do activities that you don't enjoy, love to talk about things that you don't like, have different philosophies etc. You then feel more alone and conscious, and soon those friendships fade anyway.