It'S Sad It Has To Be This Way...

I will honestly say that i've never felt close to my family.. all my relatives are scattered in different states and other country.
I don't know my dad's side of the family, n he barely knows them himself.. only a few people i've met whom i haven't seen in 3 years now. n some of my cousins are antisocial like a ************.. either that or i'm just a ******' stranger to them.. its whatever though. Now i know a few people from my mom's side but i'm not close to them.. i feel disregarded from them. some of them talk **** about me and they try to act "uppity" even tho they live in a run-down neighborhood.. which i don't ****** get why you can't just stay humble n save money on important **** instead of wasting it on **** to "make you look rich" in order to feel superior. i cant stand that fakeness and thats exactly how her side of the family is .. they're so gotdamn fake n belittle me like i'm just some "hoodlum" when they never took the time to get to ******' know me. They make stupid assumptions. Because its mainly composed of older bitter "extreme feminist" women; i'm a woman myself and that **** gets aggravating hearing all the ******' nagging. Yeah they're the type who wanna see a male ******** swing his **** but OHHHH THEIR MAN BETTER NOT SEE A FEMALE STRIPER. (by the way one of my relative did bring a male ******** to her house, n some of the women she invited were MARRIED women) hypocritical ******* i swear to god.. they're a bunch of selfish hypocrites.. only care about themselves.. THey're the kind of people who want you to be there for them but THEY'RE NEVER THERE FOR YOU. i remember getting kicked out of my so called relatives house when my ma was abandoned by my father n i was a baby.. YEAH so much for "family unity". thats some bull **** because i didn't know UNTIL NOW that i have pretty wealthy relatives.. I NEVER MET IN MY LIFE, didn't care to help NOBODY.. n we been BROKE AS ****.. for decades since we came into this country in the 90s. we been struggling my mother n I... I SEE THRU PEOPLE.. so I CAN UNCOVER THE layerS OF BULLSHIT LIKE AN ONION.
Now 2013, i'm 17, and my mom n i are DIVERGING... we are no longer close.. because i found out she ALSO IS FAKE... she did me wrong too. dissed me in front of her men (boyfriends she had) just because her 2 of her men she dated loved making fun of me when i was a kid... she's betrayed me... she changes every time she gets with a new man.. like she PROGRAMMED BY them.. i realized she is a weak minded person.. especially if it gets to the point u have to betray me to please them.. its whatever... 

I met someone I genuinely love, we both got problems n were going to HOPEFULLy help each other escape.. HOPE it doesn't back lash me in the future... i don't think so.. n for the first time i want to be OPTIMISTIC for once because i been spending to many years stuck in the GLOOM. i want to learn new things on my own since no one cared to teach me..