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I Can't Stand My Daughter

I love my daughter, but I just do not like her. She is 12 years old, selfish, rude, devious and annoying. Every day is the same battle. Brush your teeth, have a shower, eat, etc

She is so lazy. When I do laundry and fold her clothes, her idea of putting them away is throwing them in a pile. When asked to clean her room, all the clean clothes are put in the dirty hamper. I take out large black garbage bags full of junk every month from food wrappers, packaging, q tips, just garbage as she's too lazy to put them in the garbage. Shes so lazy she doesn't flush the toilet and leaves it festering until it clogs. Leaves used toilet paper all around the toilet. Throws used things all over the floor.

She never helps with any chores unless she wants something. If she gets it she is happy but never a thank you. When she doesn't get it, it's attitude.


Last night we were out at my friends for dinner. It was a crowded house. She saw me standing in a doorway looking at her, assuming she would come to me after taking 15 minutes to take her slip on shoes off and put socks on like she was preparing to do surgery or something, making sure each section of her sock was on like so. Gets up, turns her head, rolls her eyes and walks away and said she never saw me standing there.

It's Christmas today. I'm upstairs as I just couldn't stand her attitude towards me when she only received a few gifts off her 4 page list.

She lies about everything, she acts like a baby anytime someone talks to her. People notice shes not acting right and ask me what is wrong with her.

She never listens and pretends she thought I said something completely different then what I really did say. Ie: please go to your room and pick up your wet towel off the carpet and hang it up. She will go to her room for 20 mins come back, it not be done and then say "oh, I though you said go in my room to look for your towel" stupid lies.

I really dislike her. A lot. Every day is a repetition from yesterday. People close to me say my entire mood and body language changes the second I'm around her.

DutchArmani DutchArmani 26-30 12 Responses Dec 25, 2010

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ahhh god!!! i really do no where your coming from, mine is the same, but she hates me for different reasons, you see i was a drug addict when i was very young and i gave her to my parents to have as i wanted her to have a good life and she did,she was spoilt if anything, i have been drug free and normal for 10 years now and have another daughter emily who is 3 and she is my world, i have tried so hard with lauren but she is horrible!! she has depression, anxiaty, and cuts herself, i have got her in to counselling and she is on antidepressants, so im praying that this is going to work, she did move in with me but it didnt work so i told her to go back to my mums as she weed in my partners pant draw,she leaves dirty pads all over the house,blood on the toilet etc and i realiy do think that she is secretly trying to punish me, as her attitude towards me is awful, i no it was bad what i did when i was 17 but it was the right thing for her as i loved her and i will feel bad about it forever i think but i cant cope with this anymore,every time she comes to my house i feel sick,nervous anxious etc, what the hell do i do as i could never tell her how i really feel? but i just dont like her as a person she is very strange???

Sooo I am going to revive an old thread because I have to say this. Your daughter is exhibiting signs of mental health and should be evaluation by a professional. She needs you more than ever and being critical is not going to help her at all. Like others have said, she knows you don't like her. Why do parents keep doing things for them when their kids act out?

Omg it's the same story, I have three daughters 18, with a baby. A 15yr old, and 9 yr old. My 18 yr old was a run away and the 15 yr old is a pain. She is just like your daughter but worse. I think all these Children with out fathers are really suffering, they all feel neglect and take it out on their mothers. children are growing up in a society full of sex and drugs, so they want to try it. They have so many secrets and are unhappy. And as mother it doesn't matter what ever you do it will never be good enough. Believe me I have tried everything. All you can do is pray to God that they find the straight path, one that leads them to honesty and dignity. Just don't be a baby sitter for child's child, make them do all there chores. Take there phones off them, put them in volunteer work for every day they are free, I have. This will keep them out of trouble, talk to them instead of shouting, they want you to scream it makes them happy. Get social services involved. That's what they are there for,and as a previous replyer said make a log of there behaviour and all arguments. Chdren just do t have enough respect for elders, they are undercover if you follow them one day, you will get to know their real problem, and to all mums out there get out And live your life, because before you know it, your hair will turn white and these kids will hate you know matter what. That is what I do now. Even though I am on my own still with no help from anyone but God, just try and be happy, and praying to God helps, it gives you inner peace.

you're a lying ******* *****. if something is wrong with your child, it is ALWAYS your fault. ALWAYS. you made your children the way they are. don't ******* lie and say you've done everything. seeing mothers like you ******* **** me off. i grew up in the same time your daughter did, im her ******* age. and yeah, kids are doing more stupid **** now a days. but if they have a good mother setting good examples, showing endless love and support, they won't do all that dumb ****. dumb parents make dumb kids.your kids are ******** because you are an *******. i turned out perfectly fine, didn't get knocked up, am lovely to my parents, and have never done any drugs or anything, so **** you. you obviously didn't raise your children well enough. it's your fault. i hate people like you, and this stupid ***** who made this post. you shouldn't have reproduced and passed on your ****** genes

spoiled...disrespectful children...need a wake up call...stop doing things for her...make her accountable for her own self...life....If she chooses to be rude and snotty...cut her off from what she loves most...ie...phone..internet...etc...my opinion from a mom of a 29 yr old spoiled brat....learning to grow up

<p>I feel for you, I too have 2 daughters who are rude and selfish, they oldest now 21 was thrown out at 17 because she threw a mobile phone at her 2 month old brothers head, because she was told to put the phone down when she was being talked too. we never had her back either because her attitude stank. she now live with her BF and 18 mth son she is a crap house wife lazy, and I refuse to have her son because she wants to go out and party<br />
Her youger sister age 11 just 2 weeks ago, is a rude little lyer who is spiteful to her younger brother age 5. I will watch through he crack in the door because she cannot be trusted whilst she snatches the remote of her brother and when he complains she'll smack him in the face. and then say he's lying, she will steal stuff like money from her brothers money box, as she spends any money she gets on sweets with in minutes of getting it. she is greedy, lazy and a slob. 90% of the mess in the house is hers, <br />
If I ask her to put something in the bin it s a 10 min battle I am nothing like this. my son is nothing like this, my husband is nothing like this. but the girls dad is, ut they have not lived with him since they were toddlers. I think it's gentic.<br />
I'm serouisly thinking of putting her in the homes, because I can remember what her sister was like as a teenager, it was HELL!. and i don't see why we should go though this again.</P>

wow? you're considering putting your child in a home? you deserve to be murdered. you seriously do not deserve to live. i hope your kids continue to give you hell. it's karma, you're obviously a horrible person. these are your children, if there is something wrong with them, it is because you did not raise them properly. and you're going to put your daughter in a home because you simply can't deal with her? SHE'S YOUR ******* DAUGHTER. shes blood! not some girl you picked up off the streets and can toss away when she becomes too difficult. shes your daughter! and the only reason she is the way she is, is because of you! god i hate you! i hope you die in the most horrible way/

I have an 11 year old daughter nearly identical to this, and she also still poops in her pants, won't take a bath, wash her hair or brush her teeth without a battle and hit her younger brother if she's mad at me for something. I'm afraid to keep writing about how mean and gross she can be, because I'm afraid to open the floodgates of negativity I feel toward her at this point. I want to mend our relationship, but I don't know if it's possible anymore. I've tried, and she essentially spits on my efforts.

I feel for you DutchArmani as I too have a 12 year old daughter almost identical to yours. Although anytime I try to discipline her, she calls her dad and puts on the tears, plays me out to be a villan and he comes and picks her up, so she never has to take responsibility for her actions! I am at the end of my rope and feel like just giving up but I know it will just destroy her in the end. I have organised yet ANOTHER therapist, so fingers crossed we will be helped this time. Reading your story felt like I was reading the story of my own life. Take care and best of luck.....

I understand

Maybe you should both seek counselling of some sort. She must sense also your dislike of her. She is only 12years old...a child still.

I was so relieved to read your post. I also have a 12 year old whose behaviour is identical to your daughter's, the lying, the total lack of co-operation and the general attitude are all depressingly familiar to me. I don't know about you but sometimes I feel her presence in the house is like having a randomly ticking bomb... one that may or may not go off at any moment. My other two daughters (one older, one younger - significant?) are also often in the firing line and we spend our lives tiptoeing around in fear of this little despot. My husband tries his best to diffuse situations but she is very smart and knows how to turn on the tears and apologies for him (with a smug victorious glance at me!). I can only hope and pray that this is just a deeply unpleasant phase and will pass as she grows up - maybe that's why they invented boarding school?

Maybe it time to stop doing her cloths, stop buying presents, stop waisting your time with someone who has no time for you. Maybe some time alone will help her realize what is important in her life. She may not have her father but she is lucky to have someone. Children have fought wars, slave camps, starvation, and aboandonment and still have come out on top. Maybe its time for her to give back. Send her to a old fokes home volenteer her time. Might be a strugle at first but she needs to see people less fortunate to value her own life.

It could be that she feels shut out and rejected by her father and therefore does the same to everyone else. You should try to find some help on how to help both you and her in handling this. She could have good use of a therapist too, someone to help her sort out her thoughts.

She has always been a child who has no compassion for anyone. Even herself. She has zero interest in maintaining basic hygiene on herself and lacks any genuine feelings or compassion for others. I am and always have been a very loving touching person. I hug everyone and kiss them on the check. She has no ability to hug anyone. She just does not do it. She has never said the words I love you. Ever. I tell her several times a day regardless of my dislike towards her and she never says a thing. Her Dad is a dead beat. Barely around. I know that bothers her but for her to be how she us, just doesnt sit well with me. I know other kids who have fathers who aren't around and they still have basic compassion for themselves and those around them