Why Why Why!

My husband and i are breaking up after having a 14 year marriage,through the 14 years all he thought he was to do in the marriage was go to work and that's it. He didn't want to do much other then that and sit on  the computer,all i asked him was to clean up behind himself and he wouldn't do that, if there were things that need to be done around the house he would see it but it would take me to have to ask him to do this or that. Then he would get mad and say that i would treat him like a child. That was his perception ,but in my opinion you have to tell a child what to do and how to do it. now he is mad and just sit back but still wont take it upon him self to help around the house. Now as for the finances he would not pay bills he would rob peter to pay Paul, finally he give the finances over to me and i handle them from there on out. Don't get me wrong he was nice and gentle and i loved him but there were so many things that i needed him to do without me having to asking him to. There were a lot of ups and downs but we dealt with them so i thought Now were in the now and he told me that he hates me and that he has deep-seated bitterness for me because i don't respect him and that i was mean to him and that i treated him like a child. well let me tell you he held on to a lot of hurt and pain that he felt through this 14 year marriage. And he wants out,i didn't know what i did to him to hate me so much,why would you hold crap in your heart for so long  for somebody without saying anything,i felt the distant but i thought it was because i was going home for my grand baby's birth and he was going to miss me. well when i was ready to come home he told me not to come home and that he wanted his life back. he doesn't want to take any blame or responsibility for anything in our marriage that went wrong,he just blames me for everything. I helped him go threw collage,i signed my name on the house we own  because his credit was bad and he couldn't get the things on his own. Everything we have in our home we would not have if it wasn't for me,and to top it all of he purchased a BMW with a high interest rate he could not afford. I supported him threw everything that he has and wanted to do,even when he didn't finish half the things he started. I was there! Then all of the sudden, I'm uneducated,i have know ambition, I'm stupid, and on top of that i lost my job and  on unemployment, so he wants to leave me when he fills like he's on top of the world and i have nothing because i trusted him when he said he was going to school to make a better life for us. He is a arrogant,egotistical, self center,self absorbed, little boy that never grow up and want to put all his insecurities on me. i have my own insecurities i don't need his. He is even on a dating site like E harmony, or match. com. Talking to females, matter of fact he wrote a story on this site called 52 reasons why i hate my wife,and he wrote it 2 days before we had our 14th wedding anniversary where we went to Atlantic city to celebrate and had a nice time. August 31. In October he said he wanted his life back. Yes I'm angry, i feel like he has planned to leave for a while, but he  want to get whatever he could first. All that time he was out to hurt me like he thinks i hurt him,He had been talking about me to females and males alike,all through our marriage,just feeding the hurt never letting go. he always said he was patient, and i always said he was vindictive and diabolical. You reap what you sow! and that's a fact

whymyhusbandhatesme whymyhusbandhatesme
46-50, F
5 Responses Feb 18, 2010

My husband has been laid off for six months...he decided that he didn't want to go back to work "for less than he was worth". I'm so glad that he has that option. I don't. He's a good father to our son, but isn't part of being a good father to provide? We live in the town he grew up in, we go to the church his family is part of, we eat at his mothers every week, we also live in the house him and his poor first wife shared for 20 years. I've told him I want to move but Mommy pays for the house so that makes it easy for him and he's not about to do anything hard. We got into a bad argument over the weekend and I wanted to go to my sisters house he wouldn't give me the keys to the car I called his parents to see if they would give me a ride his father said no. My husband then took my son and left I told him not to take my son and he smiled at me and drove off. He then went to my sisters house so that I wouldn't go there or have her support. I can't believe I ever loved this idiot and don't know how I will ever get away from him but I know after this last argument that "I will". What kills me the most is that he is at that church every time the door cracks and critisizes me for not going. His mother does that too anytime I complain about him her responce is "Well, if you would get to church more" Jesus are these people crazy?

Yea it is a pitiful shame, he left me and goes out dating someone else now. He said i treated him like a child during our marriage, but i say he treated me like i was his mother. It really hurts, but I'll be better off without him. i know i will! I'll get some peace and security.

my god, are you talking about my husband???? It sounds IDENTICAL to my life, right down to the over-expensive BMW that he owns!!!<br />
He ignored our bills, never helps with the kids, never cleans, does laundry or takes care of the house. We have 20 unfinished projects around the house and all he does is sit upstairs in his office playing video games. He ignores his own children and I"ve basically been a single mom for like 10 years. <br />
I'm trying very hard to get out of debt by working with an agency and I hope to be debt free in three years. I just hope I can put up with this for three years when I can finally afford to be on my own with my kids. I just want them to be happy and secure.

I watched the trailer and it looks really good! I'll watch it but i don't know if he will

That's funny you said that! My girl friend said the same thing. and i have been praying for him,i'm trying to wait but i'm leaving and going back home to Seattle soon because that's where my family is.