I Don't Say I Love You Unless I Mean It
I do not fall in love easily and I’ve only said I love you to three different men. One of those is my current husband who I have been remarried to for three years now. Yes, I’m a glutton for punishment. This is our second try at marriage. He was my first love, but while we were apart for ten years, I had two others that I said those words to.
My current husband, I met when I was 15, but we didn’t becoming a couple until I was 18. Within 3 months he told me that he loved me, but it took me over a year to say those words back to him. By that time, I was living with him for a year and I was pregnant with our first child. If I remember right I was 7 months pregnant when I finely said them back to him.
The second was a rebound, I mistook lust for love. I had been separated for 3 months from a bad marriage. He appeared to be everything my husband wasn’t. Within the first month he told me he loved me and I returned it. Pretty quickly after I married him, I realized my mistake. The marriage only lasted a year.
Then several years later, I met someone that I thought was amazing. I loved him dearly, but our kids didn’t get along and it ended up being a big mess. I still communicate with his kids. His oldest and my oldest have recently made amends to each other for all their fighting and have become friends. A little too late, but that is life. Sometimes things happen for a reason. It just wasn’t meant to be.
Maybe I’m just emotionally handicapped in the love department. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if I am. I’ve had a lot of men say those words to me. When I don’t return them, they are hurt. Then the whole dynamic of the relationship was changed and in turn I would end up ending things.
A lot of women and men that I have met seem to fall in love often and quickly. I can’t help but think that they are mistaking lust for love.
My current husband, I met when I was 15, but we didn’t becoming a couple until I was 18. Within 3 months he told me that he loved me, but it took me over a year to say those words back to him. By that time, I was living with him for a year and I was pregnant with our first child. If I remember right I was 7 months pregnant when I finely said them back to him.
The second was a rebound, I mistook lust for love. I had been separated for 3 months from a bad marriage. He appeared to be everything my husband wasn’t. Within the first month he told me he loved me and I returned it. Pretty quickly after I married him, I realized my mistake. The marriage only lasted a year.
Then several years later, I met someone that I thought was amazing. I loved him dearly, but our kids didn’t get along and it ended up being a big mess. I still communicate with his kids. His oldest and my oldest have recently made amends to each other for all their fighting and have become friends. A little too late, but that is life. Sometimes things happen for a reason. It just wasn’t meant to be.
Maybe I’m just emotionally handicapped in the love department. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if I am. I’ve had a lot of men say those words to me. When I don’t return them, they are hurt. Then the whole dynamic of the relationship was changed and in turn I would end up ending things.
A lot of women and men that I have met seem to fall in love often and quickly. I can’t help but think that they are mistaking lust for love.
By:
affinityterra
Age:
36-40
,
Female
17
responses
