I Dont Spend Enough Time On Myself

I am a mother of two (3yrs & 7mths) and I do the books for three different companies which has basically had me working full time then coming home to my children, trying to keep my houshold under control, and doing paperwork which I have brought home. I seem to get sick alot probably from too much stress - but when I'm sick I don't want to stop and I get upset and feel depressed because I can't keep my house clean, I know I'm getting behind with my work, and my kids drive me crazy! Inside I know I should just chill out and do nothing or go and do something just for me but I feel too guilty as I think if I'm not working I should spend the time on my kids. My husband often suggests that we drop our kids at grandma's on the weekend so we can each do our own thing but I feel that we're just offloading our kids so we can have fun and I feel guilty about it. I'm actually quite proud of myself now for writing this, though the whole time I have been thinking I should be doing some work or something even though I'm at home because I'm sick again! The worst thing is that I don't have to work for these people I just can't say no when someone asks for help and now I feel like I can't let them down and I'd be going back on my word if I left - plus I really like doing book work.  Does anyone else do this to themselves?

mum08 mum08
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 20, 2007

I have a tendency to overwork myself, or fill my schedule with so much work that I barely have time for myself. It is also hard for me to say no to people when they ask me for something, but the important thing here to remember is you have to be healthy for your kids. You are obviously taking on too much, and stress can cause many long term illnesses, and I'm sure your kids and husband would rather have you delegate some tasks and take care of yoursef (even if it means if you have to be a little selfish) rather than have something bad happen to you because of taking on so much pressure. Learn to create boundaries at work (learn to say no to too much overload) and maybe you can ask your husband to help you with some of the cleaning and chores. Plus don't feel bad to send the kids once in a while to their grandparents. I'm sure you and your husband needs some alone time

I feel that there comes a time where you have to learn to say NO to people. I know that helping people feels good, but taking care of yourself is very important also. Maybe, you and Hubby can take turns having 1 day a week to yourselves to do what you want. Believe me when I tell you, don't overload yourself with so much to do. It may take its toll on you in years to come if you cannot learn to say NO sometimes.<br />
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Cassandra