I Even Call Him David

Some times i feel like wearing a huge "TALK TO ME" sign like the one in this group's profile pic only that mine would also have "CANT U SEE ME U FOOL!!"  It is very frustrating to talk to someone who barely notices ur presence trust me i have tried. He doesn't live with us, never has but he comes to visit once in a while by "a while" i actually mean once in like two or more years. During those rare visits he stays for like a week or two but we still don't talk, the most we say is "hi" then he walks away. We can sit in the living room watching TV for hours but dead silence, am always secretly wishing he would ask me something, anything but nothing ever happens. He only talks when he is drunk and there nothing he says makes sense. People always ask me why i call my dad by his name well he hasn't earned the tittle of "dad" yet and judging from his behavior he might never earn it. There were times when he talked to me but that was only because my aunt had asked him to tutor us in English since he is a professional high school English teacher...those learning sessions made me realize what an amazing teacher he actually is but even then he acted more like a teacher and a lot less like a dad. He ignored all personal questions and only answered class work questions. Well i got only A's in English at that time but still no happiness. I tried to call him but his phone is either off or he doesn't't pick up which is just so annoying. I have finally given up, i just have to accept that somethings will never change. On my university application in the section of father's details i put "deceased" because i have meet a guy who looks like me called DAVID but i haven't met my dad yet.              
ufutaa ufutaa
18-21, F
2 Responses May 21, 2012

Reading this it is so sad but I know exactly how you feel. My relationship with my father is exactly the same! I only met him 3 years ago and I don't think we have had one single conversation ever. I am always the one who has to try. I travel hours to him stay for a week and help with aspect of his household but still no joy. I have given up now. I have a better relationship with his wife! He doesn't phone me, answer my calls or reply to my texts! His wife does. Any male can be a father but it takes a man to be a dad and unfortunately h is just proving he isn't! Keep smiling and just think its his loss.

thanks and just so u know am always smiling, its what sad people do to cover up. I will be fine though, am used to it now..parents can make big mistakes at times but we just have to make sure we dont end up like them

anymore, i call my dad by his first name too if and when i talk to him which i usually don't.

same with me.