Everybody Says I Should Talk To My Father And Deep Down I Know I Should But I Just Don't Want To.

There's this cliche that says that you better talk to your dad before he dies.
Many friends of mine, whose dads are now gone, recommend that i talk to my dad. But these guys had good relationships with their parents, i don't.
Sometimes i feel i hate my father, for all the **** that he has done and said in the past.
My friends say that i should talk to him but question is: what am i going to say?
Should i say that i'm hurt and full of resentment because he constantly told me that i was a failure while i was growing? Or should i remind him the time he said 'I don't know what i did to have such a stupid son?' Maybe i should tell him how awful was that time when he spit on my face.
I just can't think of saying "i love you" to someone who did that **** to me. I don't love my father. Why the **** would i talk to him and be his ******* friend if i can't even stand sitting next to him on the table?
I know i'm a grown-up (36) and i should not let the negative feelings get the best of me but then again we're human and my psyche is pretty ****** thanks to these events and others. How on ******* earth am i going to be a successful person? My self-worth and confidence are ****.
Thanks for your insights.
GeorgeConstanza GeorgeConstanza
36-40
Jan 7, 2013