It Feels Aweful

I get upset but it takes me a long while to forgive. I'm sorry your relationship with your dad is not very close. we can't hate our dads, but sometimes disapproves of things they do. Deep in our own hearts, we love them because they're our dads. same goes with moms.

Well it sounds like you are stuck, if the same stuff goes 'round and 'round in your mind without progressing. A rift from a parent hurts, hugely. It really is awful. Maybe you could go to a therapist and they will help you with techniques to come to an understanding about what has happened and move on. On a smaller note, I feel like dwelling is also a bad habit, a thinking habit that needs correction. And I say this from years of doing it myself, ugh! It may (or may not) help you to simply not allow it to take over your mind. When you find yourself dwelling, get up right then and clean something, for example. Don't talk about it over and over with others, either because if that goes on too long it is the same as the thoughts (if I understood you correctly) it becomes more being stuck with something ugly, 'round and 'round in a circle without progress or resolution. That's all I've got. Sorry you have to deal with it in the first place and good luck.