He Is a Cold Man

We mainly don't talk as he hasn't shown much interest or effort to be a father, has put my through a time of abuse mental and physical, he never touched me but watched and never helped me as slowly turned into a wreck. I think I could've forgiven him for all those years if he actually meant it and ever tried to build a relationship. After all I was the one who comforted him as the one he loved, the one who abused me, left him, was there through all his alcohol-induced escapades I was the child but felt more like a parent. His current wife is more important to him than everything else. The break was hard but easier to deal with as the disappointments I had to deal with through all the years, sure I do miss having a father figure, but he was or will never be that anyway. The last time I have seen him was about 5 years ago, an occasion my grandmother arranged and just showed me he doesn't care much about it. Now that I am pregnant I keep thinking about the issue more than usually.

XsimplycomplicatedX XsimplycomplicatedX
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 6, 2009

My dad committed suicide in May so he's not there anymore. No matter what happened I feel regret...And God I miss him.

It's hard when you realize your dad can't be there for you. Especially with your new child; simply because now he hasn't been a father to you, and he hasn't been a grandfather to your child. With your love though your baby will never notice him missing. It's just difficult since you notice.