Pretty ******* Tragic.

My dad called me up one day and invited me to eat. He wanted to introduce me to his distant first cousin. Her name was Ana. So he picks me up and I meet her and she's friendly. I'm thinking she's 18 but she's 22. She came down with her boyfriend from another country, but he kept her indoors all day and she grew tired and she left him, having no place to stay. My dad offers her to stay with him and she does. So every weekend when I spent it with him I saw alot of her, and we grew very close. I thought she was my bestfriend at some point, and I let her know all my secrets and sorrows and it was nice to have that bond with someone. Ana was young and she acted like a teenager so to my fault,  I never respected her like a grown woman, like an adult. I was 15 and in her way she was 15 to me.


So time fowards and one day while I'm over my dad and her get drunk. She comes over to me and tells me she wants to tell me something, but my dad gets upset and tells her not to. They get into an argument as to why, and then she starts to call him names. My dad goes over to her and hits her. She gets histerical and determined to leave and go back to her home but I beg her not to, and she stays.

Time drifts again and her stomach begins to get big. My dads eats out all the time so I expect its just him taking her out a lot. My dad shared a place with his friend, so in the house only one room was his. The couches belonged to his roomate, and my dad only had one bed. So Ana and him would sleep together in the same bed, but to me it seamed reasonable. There were signs and I still don't understand how I could've been so ignorant, but sometimes I'd find notes to my father from Ana with I love you's... and i wanted to ask about them once but the question seamed a bit embarrasing.

Christmas eve arrives and everyone on my fathers side gets drunk, and then Ana tells me to step outside cause she needs to tell me something. She tells me shes pregnant and that the babies father was my dad. They claimed one night they went clubbing and they bought two x pills, went home and that it was accident. I thought that due to that night she got pregnant and my father was only doing the right thing by taking responsibility for the child, so nothing hurt me. But a few months later everything is revealed that the xtacy thing was only the beginning to their relationship. It wasn't an accident, they just thought they'd never get caught and Ana wasn't about to abort.

So I felt betrayed and sick and I stopped talking to my dad, cause when we tried to talk it over and I tried to be as real as possible he started to call me crazy and that what happened happened and there was nothing i could do about it. So basically he punished me for what he did. Its been 8 months or so since the last time I saw him and he hasn't called me, my birthday was last week. I duno, I'm not going to take the initiative. I'm not the one who did anything wrong, and I don't have to apologize for feeling the way I do. It isn't pride. I hope i stop caring about him soon.

seraeblues seraeblues
Feb 20, 2010