No, I Don't

I don't talk easily to people. I really dislike talking to people most of the time because I don't like the things they are saying and I don't like the fact that they expect me to agree with them. I usually disagree with peoples views but I keep it to myself for fear of their reaction and it's very hard to sit there and listen to people say negative things I disagree with. Even when that is not the case, I still don't like talking to people. I never know what to say to them and am not sure what they are talking about half the time. Nor do I care, truthfully. I am not a mean person but I come across as mean when people talk to me. I want to get away from them as soon as possible. I always feel I'm being intruded upon when people talk to me and I want them to go away and leave me alone so I can feel safe and okay again. I wish people would realize that I am a good person who just isn't social and not hold that against me. But they always take the fact that I don't partcipate in the conversations they are trying to hold with me as proof that I am rude. I am a very nice, good person. Being quiet and nonresponsive during a conversation I never even entered into and never wanted to be a part of does not make me a bad person. I wish others would realize that trying to force someone into a conversation they clearly do not want to be a part of is very rude of them. I am usually happiest when left alone to my own devices. When people talk to me, I can not be myself. They take me away from the safety of my own mind and I feel as if I'm being assaulted, yet, according to them, I am the mean and rude one.
ItchyWitch82 ItchyWitch82
26-30, F
1 Response Jul 24, 2010

holy cow this site has made me realize so much. i've looked and commented on 5 other stories, and they are all pieces of my social brain, including this one. I feel this way even about the conversations with my friends. I don't ever feel like things MOST people are talking about matter because it really doesn't further my life. People seem to notice when they talk to me I glance somewhere else often, and I never really say something to contribute there convo i just say ya. And omg the disagreeing thing, i'm a little different in a way that i would LOVE to disagree but i can never find what to say so i never disagree. Its bad because i'm making friends with people i don't want to be friends with, or even talk with. My good friends notice these problems so much that when they talk (when my group of friends are over), they don't ever talk to me. :( I am a really nice person, i only ever show that with my actions tho.