Why Is My Love Life Non-existent?

It seems no matter what I do, no one will ever love me in a romantic way. I watch as all my friends get older, become successful and finding true love, while I am on the sidelines watching. Being single sucks at times, why me? Oh well I can take it. It just sucks knowing that no one likes you at all....
Whocaresohwell Whocaresohwell
5 Responses Aug 15, 2011


There are several reasons for our dilemma. First off today's society has been conditioned to want instant gratification on a completely selfish and self absorbed basis. That in itself is breeding ground for disaster. In the end no one wins, no one is fully pleased and even partners finding what they thought at the time was their dream partner wind up in divorce or separation. Think **** is good? It isn't. Think Hollywood is great? It isn't. Think artists and celebrities are worthy role models in society? They aren't. Neither is the corporate world. You see all these mediums have conjured up a completely false image in the hearts and minds of men. I personally can't get a date because I'm 5'7" short and most women want a super cute or super tall man. Never mind that I'm average looking and artistic and have a brain and the type of heart that is loyal. I'm short so it's a deal breaker for 99% of women (yes even the ones shorter than me want the taller guy) because women have been conditioned by all the mediums to seek superficial instant gratification and then they're left heartbroken because the tall man they wanted and got is also wanted by scores of other hot chicks so he is shallow enough to not stick to one female and instead enjoy all the women he can at the cost of breaking hearts, getting and giving STD's and well......you get the picture. Men have been conditioned to get what they can and enjoy it while it lasts and move on because they actually don't trust women. Believe that. Men rarely trust women anymore and believe every woman out there is as much into cheating or as willing as men are. Also men are just as superficial and go after the slim, fit or curvy women first and the rest who are sweet, devoted and loyal have to take a back seat and wait for the desperate guy. I've done my own research for years and have drawn my own conclusions. After putting up my profile picture on several dating sites and then putting up a fake profile to see the types of responses I'd get it has helped me to understand how most women think. I am a dark skinned short Latino man. A very romantic one. And 99% of women have little to zero interest in me. When I put up profile pics of white tall men I got amazing responses. When I was sweet under my profile I got totally ignored. When I put up the fake white man profile I got scores of women responding and contacting me first. When I came on strong under my profile I got cursed out, blocked, insulted etc. When I came on strong under the white man profile 90% of women didn't mind and actually loved almost anything I threw at them including insults. Many were willing to date the fake profile even after getting insulted and cussed out themselves since I did it with confidence and women love that. I even told some of the women I was busy with another lady and that they would have to wait their turn and most said ok because they found me (the tall white man profile) adorable. See? As long as youre tall and adorable women put up with almost anything. They throw all their ideals out the window. Sweet, respectful, hard working, a gentleman etc no longer matters as stated in their "about" and "what they're looking for". Ultimately shallow and superficial wins almost every time with most women. And there it is. We live in an extremely shallow world and people like us (despite how good we think we look) are bound to get used (short men friendzoned and used for freebie dinners and movies..... Women used for sex) and dumped. My advice is give up conducting a strong search and concentrate your efforts on bettering yourself and becoming successful and allow the right person to cross our paths when the time comes. Nothing wrong with waiting forever. And there's no rule that says we are not allowed to be single and enjoy life with friends. Best wishes to all

why was the last time you asked someone out?

i bet the answer is, never, or once a year or something like that

if you ask people out, you will get a date, end of story

the real question you need to ask yourself, is "why dont I ask people out"?

I'm 38 and have had boyfriends, but never ever comes of it. They're very short-lived. I'm physically attractive and I'm a nice person, and I do plenty "right" as far as no clinging. So honestly, I don't know what it is. I had one relationship that lasted five years, but it was a farce; he wasn't in love with me and I pretty much made him stay with me. Other than him, though, I've pretty much only had flings that last a month at the most, and the guy is never interested in me romantically. Usually just physically attracted and like the sex, but think another woman is more for them. They often say something like, "something's just missing" (between himself and me). I'm baffled and lonely. But...I have to admit that I could make some changes by liking a different type of guy. Maybe the more eager ones. But then, I can't control who I"m attracted to. I'm often not attracted to the eager ones.

I know exactly how you feel. I have been reading lots of self-help books and literature been improving myself and hoping and praying that i will find the one. Unfortunately, to date, although i have met some nice guys, i seem only to have made a fool of myself by being too eager and enthusiastic, almost over zealous. I know there is free will and someone has to like/love me back, but sometimes i hit a wall and don't simply believe that a good person like me deserves to feel so incredibly lonely. I feel it so strongly i get pains in my hands sometimes. Has anybody come through this? Is there such a thing as meeting an equal or soul-mate?