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What Is There To Love? All They See Are My Flaws.

Out of all the people I have loved only one ever loved me back. I thought this MuSt mean that this is my soulmate because finally I met someone that loved me back. but now I just do not see the point of it all, of life or anything. I always thought a world without love is not a world worth living in and that is how I feel now, that there is no point of me living. I have no sense of self. I was never loved very much growing up, I have never maintained any deep friendships, so I have always found my happiness through loving others hoping that one day someone would love me. But now I realize there is just nothing to love. My parents are divorced and both very miserable people, I have no friends, no talents, I am overweight, and have no clue what to do for a career. Who would love that? It is no wonder that the only person that loved me changed there mind. I cant even love myself so how would anyone else. Most nights anymore I wish I did not wake up.
iameffystonem iameffystonem 22-25, F 2 Responses May 14, 2012

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I had to think a while before commenting on this story.It is a very delicate and sensitive subject,and I wish you only the best.First,love will not cure all your problems nor will it by itself,make you happy.The solution lies in your story itself..."if I can't love me...." YOur Lack of self esteem is quite evident.People who love and are loved are not unique beings,endowed necessarily with special gifts-althugh you might have more good attributes than you give yourself credit for.But to gain what you seek,you must see the God-endowed goodness you possess.Remember,just in the act of conception we ALL beat astronomical odds,and are by definition,"special".Please don't give up on yourself.Is there anyone you can talk to,anyone at all?Therapy is the cure-all of our century,the default advice,but I believe it is vital to talk to someone you trust about your despair and self worth issues.I sincerely hope you can muster the strength to meet your demons head-on and resolve them.Sincerest Good Luck.

If you've been loved once, you can be loved again. I agree with you, life without love is an even more pointless proposition. Never stop searching and stay open to people. Be nice to everyone who is nice to you.