Want Marriage, So Bad, But Idk If It Will Happen

The man I love, and I want to marry so bad, seems to be a marriage-a-phobe or something like that. We've been dating since I was 16 and this year, in Sept, we will be together for 10 yrs. Every time I bring up marriage though, this man I wish to marry comes up with some kind of excuse as to why we can't yet, I.E.- I don't make enough money to support you, I have to take care of my dad, Etc. I love him so much though, I do NOT want to give up on him/us, I just keep hoping that If I hang in with him we'll eventually get married. Am I stupid, or foolish, for doing this?
KiKi586 KiKi586 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 11, 2012

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Getting married is a waste of time in my mind. Why not just have a ceremony where there is no official decree of marriage? I would never get married just because the government takes loans out on your marriage certificate based on the assumption that you will be a productive member of society, they assume you will have children and this allows them to take loans in your name. Getting married in the governments eyes pretty much makes you more like cattle to them. Simply because there is hope that you will breed and your children will generate revenue as they grow and cost money here and there. Getting married is for people who are brainwashed into thinking this is how we live life. Plus when you get married the way your mind looks at it is like a cage, especially your guy will do that. It could easily change the way he views his passion for you. Trust me getting married isnt something you want to do anyways. I will never do it. No matter how much a guy thinks he wants it. He can go find someone else if he wants it that bad.

Do you love, care, respect yourself if so why are you abusing and hurting yourself......

He simply dose not want you on that level and he's happy as long as you continue performing sexual acts on him.

So why should he marry you ?

When love really abides in the heart then marriage is without question.

I know what I have spoken hurts....

I'm sorry that it causes you pain but the truth hurts...

Truth also sets you free.

In time your heart will heal...

Find a man that will love you for who you are... Your smile, your laughter, your silly ways some one you can actually comunicate with without sex.

Withhold sex from a potential life time marriage and you will find that if love dose really chime for the both of you... It was worth the wait.

People have different concepts regarding marriage. Also, they have their own feelings (and fears) regarding what their married life will be like. He may have concerns that you would find valid (or not) for not proposing at this time. Sometimes it's worse to push things against people's will. I respect free-will very much. Now, if this is hurting you that bad, communicate how you feel (don't keep postponing it, if you feel like it's been going on for too long). Tell him what you feel like from the bottom of your heart (let it all out!), without being afraid of what he will say. It takes courage, I know, but hesitation is one of the reasons why people spend a lifetime working in a place they despise, holding stupid grudges, etc. (these can't be good feelings, for we are destined to happiness). From my personal experience, mutual, honest communication is essential (cheesy, isn't it? But so true). Usually, relationships go down and end up hurting one/both of the partners very much when they fail to follow this simple rule. I wish you both the best!!!