It's Overrated!

...When I was a little girl I swore to my momma I would never get married. I wanted to have a baby, and a lover and that's it!

No strings, no committment, no contract, no bond.

Ok, I am a product of a divorce family and I am witnesss to how abusive men can be. My father beat my mom, he gave her mental shitfits, and emotionally he was abusive.

So who needed marriage right?

Fastforward 33 years laters....................I got married!

^%$# why!

I knew bettter, but I guess I got wrapped up in the societal pressures, mom wanting a grandchild, and **** like that. So I jumped the broom with a man I now HATE.

It didnt even start out like a FAIRY TALE. I didnt have rose-colored glasses on. I never fantasized about the 4 beedroom house, white picket fence, 2 car garage, 2.5 kids. I didnt dream like that.

I grew up in Washington D.C. Hard-core reality, fast-pace living, city streets, so I knew better.

What made me get married? Who in the hell knows. I am a free spirit person, so I figured if he loved me, he would treat me GOOD.............NOT!

Within two years the girls close to me who did get married were soon DIVORCE. I should have followed suit - I didnt. Instead I kept my mouth shut, opened my legs, closed my thoughts, creativity and hoped that my spouse WOULD DO THE RIGHT THING. LOL

I dug in for the long haul, I stayed miserable, unhappy, crying a lot, depressed, drinking, and sad.

I had my child 4 years later and it didnt get any better. Now he was an ok father, but a lousy HUSBAND, lover.

I should have pulled out before I had my kid, but its TOO LATE NOW.

My child is 14 years old now and I am still very much UNHAPPY, sad, depressed and miserable.

I know now that MARRIAGE is not the answer to HAPPINESS, nor will it ever be. It quite obvious with Kim Khardashian, Halle Berry, Britney Spears and Me.

Ladies, do not go into a marriage thinking a man will FULFILL YOUR NEEDS. He will not make you HAPPY. He will not validate your WORTH, SELF- ESTEEM. Only you can do those things.

As I look back I wanted to TRY. I wanted to give marraige a CHANCE.

But I realzie now................that I should have never gotten MARRIED.

And marriage is not the answer to HAPPINESS!

Get over it,

chie5189 chie5189
36-40
3 Responses May 14, 2012

There is a lot of pressure in our society to get married when about half of us shouldn't attempt living with someone until "death do us part ." Some of us just are not wired that way.

i agree - and it works both ways i.e. women are as bad as men

Well, it sounds like you haven't had the best Marriage roles in your life. My parents have been together for 36 years, my in-laws have been together for 40 years, my husband and I have been together for 12 years.<br />
<br />
Obviously our parents have had children, my husband and myself had not. This isn't to say that sh*t doesn't come up. Of course it does. The issue should always be if the sh*t equals harm to you and yours, if it does then get out...if the sh*t is he/she is saying something that requires a qualification then that MAY be something to talk over.<br />
<br />
I'll give you an example. My husband once said to me, "This trash should have been taken out already." I said to him, "You can't do it?" He sat on his *ss and didn't take it out...I did...there is the difference...it's not life or death...it's an individual assessment...<br />
<br />
Here it was an assessment to be made not a physical issue.