I don't think he wants to spend time with me. Both of us are at home whole day, and he doesn't speak to me unless I take initiative.
I asked him if he could break open the lock of a baggage(the key was lost) containing my moms books so that I could study, And he said:"Later'"
After some time,I asked him if he could teach me to play chess(he was a chess champion in his college), he said, "later", I asked:"today evening?"
"No"
"Tomorrow?"
"No"
"Day after tomorrow?"
"No"
And again,after sometime, (knowing that he loves to play cards)I asked him if he could teach me how to play cards, and he said,"Later"I asked:"today evening?"
"No"
"Tomorrow?"
"No"
"Day after tomorrow?"
"Later"
And I stopped talking to him for the day.
Every day is some what like this.
Only thing he says to me is at 4:30pm:
"Make some tea."And I makes tea and tells him:"Here is the tea. Enjoy, Daddy!"And he says:" Mm."
I'm craving so much for his attention, I even jumped from the second story of our house, and all I got was, he hated me more, I think.It was the same dialogues before and after jumping. He didn't come to hospital most days, lazily (enjoying) being at home. He likes his club of friends, and starts getting ready to go 2 hours earlier at 5 pm.
I don't think my dad hates me, nor does he love me. He is just indifferent to me, which is the most painful thing.
BridaPaulo BridaPaulo
22-25, F
Aug 22, 2014