My Friend Jade

I met Jade during a 5-week skills upgrading class.  I cottoned on to her quickly, and we started visiting more in class, taking the bus home together, then phoning each other, and now going out and spending time together.

Jade is the best friend I've had since my university days, which ended seven years ago.  We talk freely, are honest with each other, and enjoy one another's company.  When I first got to know her in class, and as we started talking on the phone more, I really fell in love with her.  Part of that was just my loneliness rearing its head, seeking any promise of intimacy.  It was puppy love, although I really do like her.  Jade didn't want us to jump into anything quickly, anyway. 

The thing is, sometimes she talks about herself negatively, of not having smooth skin or being pretty any more.  I maintain that she is very beautiful, although I don't mention it too much so she won't get worried that I'm trying to push her boundaries, because I'm not.  She also has a boyfriend in Austria, who travels the world for the company he works for, and whom she told me was instantly attracted to her when he saw her at a party over one year ago.  So, sometimes I want to tell her "Look, why don't you accept the love us guys are pouring out to you and trust that you really are a beautiful woman?  Don't be so hard on yourself!"

Jade is going back to her home in China around Christmas time.  She also wants to continue travelling.  I know that our time together is limited, and I am happy enough being her friend for that period.  A small part of me would still like us to be together as a couple, but I accept that that can't happen.  Hopefully we'll remain friends for a very long time.
UnderEli UnderEli
46-50, M
2 Responses Jul 24, 2010

Thanks for your comment. Sometimes I'm sad that she and I can't be together. On the other hand, I am much happier respecting the boundaries she's set and being her friend during the time we do have, than for her to feel pressured or manipulated into a relationship she didn't want to be in. I'd feel terrible doing that to her.

Oh, That is so sweet and sad. Can't think of anything else to say except I don't know how I would go about not telling the person that I love that I love them, ecpecially if it were as much as you seem too.