Best Friend?

I don't think you thought that through. The words you said were sharper than a knife. Joke or not you don't seem to see just how deep of an insult that was. You claim to be my best friend but, you know almost nothing of me. You live in you're reality and block out the way I am. Is it because it's to much for you? Imagine feeling it every minute of every day. Whenever I try to let you in you show me exactly why I keep you out. If you knew how bad I wish to die maybe you would see that wasn't funny. Hate the fact or not I am suicidal. There are times where I've almost ended my life. But you don't know, and you never will. You ignore the clear signs but then want to know whats wrong? You are there everyday, you've been my friend for over four years now. How is it that you just block out the bad and see only the good? I don't live in the same world. I guess I can't blame you for not seeing even though the signs are pretty clear. I'm as invisible as always. Everyone thinking that the smile is real. I just for once wish someone close to me could understand the pain I feel. Then maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad. But I guess my struggle is my own and you'll never know the truth behind you're best friend.
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Jan 17, 2013