Changed My Whole Mindset...

...but...yeah. Your small town girl vibe, your smile and the personality that you wear so well, all of it has impacted me in various ways. Words are useless. I never wanted a relationship ever again, never wanted the hassle of it all. Then, there you were. Asking about my story, my life, my world. Vastly different from yours, and what you know. We learned about each other in reverse.

Decisions, decisions. Do we try to make it something else and or let be an odd friendship? We chose to make it happen. We planned, plotted, and rocked it. My mindset went from "hell no" to "let's get it". Self destruct to lets chill. Something about what you said and did made me let you in. Words are still useless.

I ****** up. I said and did some mean things to you. I tossed you aside a time or two...okay, four. You hung in there. I was more than impressed. I was, in love? Noooo. How in the hell did this happen? Can't be. I didn't want it. We are too far, too different, too...yeah. Here we are, and the words are as futile as ever.

I'm in your area for now, and waiting to see. Hell, I am on your pc writing this. :P Things happened and now you need to make some choices. Me...or, well, you know. How you have affected me is something I can never repay, or properly describe. How you have loved me and made me feel is something that only you could have done, and all I ever dreamed of. The way you kiss my chest, the way you look at me when I run my hands through your hair and pull you in for a kiss.

 I know that I can do the same, and have for the most part. Reserved I have been, and for good reason. The pull you feel in a million directions has to be hell. Either way, you win. Either way, I lose.

Pick me and us: I will forever be the man who does not deserve someone as amazing as you. Pick them/him: I will be the heartbroken chump...again. I hope it is us, as I know what I can do, and I know it can't be matched by anyone else. That scenario is as likely as me winning the Mega-Millions drawing, for which I do not have a ticket.

What you have done to me, my heart, my mind, and my outlook is something I thought impossible. Miracles do happen, and nothing comes without cost. I love you, for some reason. Being impacted is over-rated. I'd so do it all over again. Words are futile. Hearts are fragile. And the way you have impacted me is something that only happens a time or two in someones life. Off we go...

EricS EricS
36-40, M
32 Responses Feb 10, 2009

Be worthy! enough said.

I think she'll like californ-i-a. So many places and people to see. I bet there's all kinds of romantic spots there. And valentine's day is around the corner too!? C'mooooooooooooon :)

Hehe...I told her to come back with...uh...this Eric character for a bit.. =P

Hmmmmmm...is there a way she could maybe take a vacation somewhere else? ...possibly california? :D

Intense is an accurate statement. <br />
<br />
Reflection is something that she might now be allowed to do. If I go back to Cali...then he will be all up on her like white on rice. She is in a tough spot, for sure.

Have she had some time to reflect? I can imagine the pressure is pretty intense...

*head in hand* Here Iam.

Too bad it is real life and not just E.P. <br />
<br />
She can come home tonight and make the world right again, she has the ability. One shot...one man...one love standing right here. <br />
<br />
Arsineh, EP must read yet?

OH THANK GOODNESS! I was afraid it was him. Oh boy. I leave ex boyfriends alone though...there's a reason they were exes...and they tend to...complicate things : (<br />
<br />
Now that I know that. Just give Eric a chance. The other guy can wait. He already had his chance. If he can't wait then maybe he doesn't love you.

I was going to say the same as Marji. Meg, you've a beautiful soul from your writing, just your perspectives on life. And well...I don't know. It's hard not to want to say something when really I want to just bite my tongue. Meg, I am so sorry for all the push and pull you're going through. It just broke my heart remembering how hurt you were at one point. I don't want any woman going through that again...and I certainly don't want you going through that pain again. I know we don't talk a lot and I've known you through Eric...but I've kind of seen you through his eyes a lot and just how much he loves you. <br />
<br />
We're here supporting you no matter what, ok. If you need anything we are here. *hugs

Marji......its not my exhusband :-) Good lord that wont happen!! <br />
<br />
It is an ex boyfriend......

Can I get this story on EP must reads? I mean, I have written some gems, and this one is dead serious real and has the masses cheering Meg and I on...<br />
<br />
...come on Arsineh! Hook it up! Let my misery/happiness be on display like a monkey at a zoo.

Thank you Tek for your thoughts here too.<br />
<br />
I am in a tailspin at the moment and no one really does know what this is doing to me :-(<br />
<br />
I am trying to find my way......but in the end everyone is hurting and that sucks!!

Thank you, Tek. I have been saying that all along. <br />
<br />
Eric is NOT in a competition, as Meg is not a possesion. <br />
<br />
I am NOT making promises, saying all the "right things' I am just standing here, loving someone. Telling her what I can and can't do, being real...and making a gigantic *** of himself on E.P. <br />
<br />
*note her and I are a real life couple, using EP to vent*

She's a really wonderful person no matter what decision she makes. <br />
<br />
Well, what ever the other guy is doing now, he's putting his best foot forward now because you are there but what about later. When you aren't around to push that part out of him? He's painting the picture she used to want but he would never give. Let's hope that man is one of action and not words.<br />
<br />
I don't think she should choose now. I don't think it's fair. I think she should let the both of you cool off and see both of you for who you really are.<br />
<br />
When two men compete...they are competing with each other and not for her heart. Her heart is precious and should not be won. It should be tended to...cared for...like a garden for the rest of her life.<br />
<br />
Permanence will prove itself in the end if you have faith. I say Eric...If he fails her again, just wait and let her heart heal. Just let her know you are there. Sometimes a woman's heart can be mislead with promises and words. But if he doesn't fail, then we're all hoping that she has a fulfilling and happy life either way.

Why can EVERYONE but her feel it? <br />
<br />
Well, she does but she is letting all the wrong things forge the decision...I think. Perhaps I have a bias.

Wow! Even I felt that and I don't even know what's going on exactly. I really hope things work out eventually for you two.

What do we have to lose? It is already out the door...

Tell her that...you got the phone number...light her *** up.

Thanks for the comments.

Eric, I don't know what your taste in music is, but a song came to mind as I read your story (i'm rooting for you) - by John Mayer - Love Soon - the lyrics: <br />
<br />
"Love Soon" John Mayer<br />
<br />
I know you've been sworn<br />
I read your complaint<br />
you're needing someone older<br />
and though I've been warned to live day by day<br />
there's something taking over<br />
<br />
did you expect to kiss me one time<br />
while looking at me with the same eyes ever again?<br />
so come on and face it<br />
so come on and face it<br />
it's time that we say it<br />
<br />
you can cross the line whenever you want to<br />
I'm calling it love soon<br />
close your mind and waste some time if you have to<br />
I'm calling it love soon<br />
it's not about you now<br />
it's what we are<br />
<br />
your mother complains that you need a man<br />
you haven't mentioned me yet<br />
and all of your friends don't know who I am<br />
I've been your best kept secret<br />
<br />
I understand I wasn't part of the plan<br />
a dollar short, a minute early<br />
but I am your man<br />
so come on and face it<br />
so come on and face it<br />
it's time that we say it<br />
<br />
you can cross the line whenever you want to<br />
I'm calling it love soon<br />
close your mind and waste some time if you have to<br />
I'm calling it love soon<br />
it's not about you now<br />
it's what we are<br />
it’s what we are<br />
<br />
let's bypass the bullshit and move on because<br />
the minute hand moves faster than you think it does<br />
and by no fault of yours and by no fault of mine<br />
the bottom line is laying in the bed that we've been playing in tonight<br />
<br />
I'm calling it love soon<br />
I'm calling it love soon<br />
<br />
you can cross the line whenever you want to<br />
I'm calling it love soon<br />
close your mind and waste some time if you have to<br />
I'm calling it love soon<br />
<br />
it's not about you now<br />
it's what we are<br />
<br />
Music always speaks to me - good luck!

For Good's sake Eric, you are a sweetheart. :) Good love to ya.

Awww. This is such a cute story. It's so nice that you're willing to change and fight for your love. Best wishes to you! :)

Thank you. <br />
<br />
She is a tough woman and will make a choice, either way. I don't want to lose someone so amazing, that is for sure.

No pressure here. Just follow your heart and it will be amazing...crazy but amazing. : )

I wish.

Hmmm... I guess you've said it all, huh? ;-)

It is...or was...will be? Hmm.

It is quite a story isn't it?

That she did. :P

It is what it is.<br />
<br />
Thanks for the comments.

WOW!!! that's all I need to say. wow! Good luck!