My Reason For Not Trusting

I know lots of people have trust issues and have reasons for it. I do try to live by the "screw me once, shame on you; screw me twice, shame on me" motto. But, its really hard to trust when you've been betrayed by the ones who are supposed to put you first and to take care of you. My dad first abandoned me at age 8, came back when I was 10, and then again when I was 15 and I moved in with him my senior year of high school. I know the important thing is that he eventually got in contact and eventually came back, but it still hurts to this day. I remember when I was 8, looking at the park and seeing other girls playing soccer, softball, etc with their dad's and all I could think is "where's mine?" also, everytime I heard a diesel truck, I would think "has my dad come back to get me and save me?" my mom would go to the bars every night and my sister stayed gone all the time. Well, when he finally came back, it took me a while to trust him again. Then when I was 15, he started dating my mom's friend and they kept it a secret, and she ball-faced lied to me about it. Well, if they would've told me, I wouldn't have been mad or anything, it pissed me off that he felt like he had to keep it secret from me. Then, we she got pregnant, he didn't tell me til she was 5 months and added "too late to get an abortion." I am pro-life so that made me mad also. To top off my trust issues, my mom pretty much used me to get money out of my dad the whole time I lived with her and my sister (their 2 of a kind) and I finally had enough and went to live with my dad. When I did that, she wouldn't talk to me or anything at first. I told her it was best for me and I had to do it. Her reply,"now I don't get a check every month, could you ask your dad to still send that to me?" needless to say, I was pissed. Here she was, not thinking of me, but how she was going to pay for her doctor visit!! Her and my sister are pill heads, they're hooked to almost every narcotic I've heard of, well, pharmaceutical narcotic anyway. And on top of that, my dad's friend, who he'd known since they were in diapers, turn his back on my dad when my dad needed him most. I know it might be wrong, but if someone rubs me the wrong way, there's no way I am trusting them further than I can throw them, and I don't have a lot of muscle. Also, my sister has burned me countless times. I can't believe a word she says because I have caught her in so many lies. Also, I have seen her fake cry to my dad and lie and say her kids needed something when the didn't for money. She also has lied on me to my dad and grandfather numerous times. And I have heard the saying "if you can't trust your family, who can you trust?" well, if that's the case then I can't trust anyone. But, I still try to give new people I meet the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn't not trust them just because my family is crazy and most of them are liars looking out for number 1 and put themselves ahead of their kids. Well, that's my reason for not trusting a lot of people, I'd like to read some more stories on this experience, so start sharing!!!
southernmom08 southernmom08
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 6, 2009

That is so terrible.... sounds like you've really had it rough :(<br />
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I have some trust issues too. However, it might be a good thing for me (and maybe for you as well, I'm not sure) because I used to trust people WAYYYY too much. That landed me in more than one sticky situation.<br />
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Just keep in mind: there are people out there who you really CAN trust. In fact, its probably over three quarters of the general population. Don't be too quick to say that you can't trust someone. You might need to.

I trust people too much lol