Truly Impossible

I don't trust anyone. Not myself, not my parents, my friends, no one. The closest to trusting someone I suppose would be with my cat. But.....my lack of trust is very different from most people. I've read other stories of people who can't trust "anymore", maybe because they have been lied to often, used, hurt, or maybe they just are a bit paranoid.
But for me it isn't anything like that. I don't trust people...simply because I know people lie. It's an instinct, almost. It isn't something I really think about. I may not hesitate to tell people the truth, or answer anything they ask, but that is only because I have no secrets. But if I did, I wouldn't tell anyone. And it isn't even necessarily the people themselves I don't trust...rather human nature. Because humans are curious, humans are loyal, humans are curious....And they are trusting. But me? I have never had that trust. The only time my lack of trust shows, however, is in my phobia of pain. No matter who, no matter what....if my instincts or I notice some kind of threat, immediately I'm in fight/flight mode. Whether my friend just poked me from behind, or a building seems in danger of falling on me. Anything, everything.
I just don't trust. But how am I supposed to love someone....when I can't trust them, or even myself for that matter.
GoldLikeAutumn GoldLikeAutumn
13-15
1 Response May 8, 2012

I wonder if you believe in God? If you do, do you trust him? You are right, you can't trust people or even yourself because we are all human beings capable of deceiving, the only one you can put your trust in completely and will never deceive you or let you down is God! He will help you deal with human deception by filling your heart with love and forgiveness. That is the only way my friend. Best of luck to you!