I Don't Trust Easily Anymore
Once upon a time, we shared with our parents for validation. Young kids don't even know that other people don't share their memories and will talk about things like you were there with them when it happened. Older kids talk about everything down to the smallest detail even though the listener might not care about which color little Jenny used to paint during class.
And then we get friends and do the same thing. Tell it all so they can validate our choices or mirror our feelings. Whether we commiserate (oh that effing b-word, how could she DO THAT??) or joke (huh huh, did you see Josh? didn't even know about the snot hanging from his nose!). We share and share without knowing why, only looking for the reflection of our emotions, seeking to find in others that sense of belonging.
Often times, we do the same when we are older. Or we find someone who does the same with us. Overshare, TMI, self-centeredness, what a stooge, OMG I can't believe she said that! If you are the one sharing, and you feel bad when you find someone with this "wall" around them, like they don't care. Like they're shallow or hollow inside. Or worse, they use what you say against you.
Heard a friend of mine describe it nicely. Said that he has enough drama of his own to deal with and doesn't need any of yours. Said that there are people to talk to about this - your priest or counselor or momma - and you need to take it there.
Might be harsh and mean, but not everyone is entitled to the "private" in your private life.
There is a good side to this. Once you find that proper destination for talking about your drama (perhaps a group on EP lol), you'll find the other relationships in your life are much more entertaining when language is used for other things. Love. Fun. Planning get-togethers and telling others about events around town. Sharing jokes. Talking about the beauty in life.
You'll also see that spoken language is a tool for getting what you want. And the more it's used for that purpose, the less you'll need it for talking about getting what you didn't want. Get it?
And then we get friends and do the same thing. Tell it all so they can validate our choices or mirror our feelings. Whether we commiserate (oh that effing b-word, how could she DO THAT??) or joke (huh huh, did you see Josh? didn't even know about the snot hanging from his nose!). We share and share without knowing why, only looking for the reflection of our emotions, seeking to find in others that sense of belonging.
Often times, we do the same when we are older. Or we find someone who does the same with us. Overshare, TMI, self-centeredness, what a stooge, OMG I can't believe she said that! If you are the one sharing, and you feel bad when you find someone with this "wall" around them, like they don't care. Like they're shallow or hollow inside. Or worse, they use what you say against you.
Heard a friend of mine describe it nicely. Said that he has enough drama of his own to deal with and doesn't need any of yours. Said that there are people to talk to about this - your priest or counselor or momma - and you need to take it there.
Might be harsh and mean, but not everyone is entitled to the "private" in your private life.
There is a good side to this. Once you find that proper destination for talking about your drama (perhaps a group on EP lol), you'll find the other relationships in your life are much more entertaining when language is used for other things. Love. Fun. Planning get-togethers and telling others about events around town. Sharing jokes. Talking about the beauty in life.
You'll also see that spoken language is a tool for getting what you want. And the more it's used for that purpose, the less you'll need it for talking about getting what you didn't want. Get it?
By:
SomeWiseMan
Age:
36-40
,
Male
