I Have Problems
trusting people. Major problems. Probably because every time I trusted someone, up until this year, I was betrayed. So now, I just wait for people I 'let in' to turn on me and hurt me.
I know I need to get over it, but how do you get over 19 years of hurt? How do you trust when you honestly can't remember how? It's not as easy as many people think. Once you've lost the ability to trust, it takes years to gain back.
That is, if you ever can.
I my experience, I have yet to find anyone I can trust completely. There are some people I do trust...To an extent. But I wouldn't trust them to hold a gun to my head, or a knife to my throat.
For some reason people seem to think I trust them, and are always surprised when they realize how little they actually know about me. Why this is I don't know. Maybe I'm a good actress, or maybe I'm just one of those people who seems so trusting it hurts. Either way it's a part of me that needs to be healed.