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I Have Problems

trusting people. Major problems. Probably because every time I trusted someone, up until this year, I was betrayed. So now, I just wait for people I 'let in' to turn on me and hurt me.

I know I need to get over it, but how do you get over 19 years of hurt? How do you trust when you honestly can't remember how? It's not as easy as many people think. Once you've lost the ability to trust, it takes years to gain back.

That is, if you ever can.

I my experience, I have yet to find anyone I can trust completely. There are some people I do trust...To an extent. But I wouldn't trust them to hold a gun to my head, or a knife to my throat.

For some reason people seem to think I trust them, and are always surprised when they realize how little they actually know about me. Why this is I don't know. Maybe I'm a good actress, or maybe I'm just one of those people who seems so trusting it hurts. Either way it's a part of me that needs to be healed.

Treval Treval 22-25, F 4 Responses May 11, 2007

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This is for everyone in this conversation. The emotions related to mistrust are all negative. Negativity breeds negativity by forcing you to relive or exist within the memories of those situations. This makes you question why it happens to you all the time and when you don't find the answer you become slightly depressed and the negativity has set in. It is so hard to break out of this cycle once you have created it so please realise that you have complete control over the outcome of almost every situation. Don't be on guard to everyone and everything in your lives, just don't give up so much to so many so soon and your lives will all of a sudden become a whole lot better. I can hear people saying " but he always does this" or "but she always says that". You have made the choice to put yourself in a situation that you know is not going to end well so why are you there? If you aren't there it won't happen. No mistrust. Good luck all. I wish you all as much happiness as you deserve.

Hi Treval. I believe that trust is purely a word that is used in relation to those in our lives that have or haven't let us down. Have let us down - don't trust. Haven't let us down - trust. So we all categorise those in our lives according to the outcomes of situations that both you and they have been involved in. Too often others are blamed for being untrustworthy but what is the same in evry one of those situations? You. Therefore isn't it reasonable to suggest that the answer lies within you. it does and it is in all of us but most never realise it. Trust is a byproduct of control. You allow someone to control a certain aspect of your life and they either deliver an outcome that you are happy with or they don't. From this point they are then categorised into trustworthy or untrustworthy. If it has been something of great importance to you and the outcome isn't what you expected it causes you a certain amount of pain and suffering. The blame for this is placed on them when in fact it is a result of the fact that you gave up control of something that you shouldn't have. Don't shut yourself out to the world or limit your existence. Just be more careful with the parts of you and your life that others have control over. This works because I have done it in my life and I have helped many others to break free of "Trust issues" with this concept. I hope I have helped.

I think i may have the same problem .. and i am looking at how i present myself to "the world" so to speak .. i'm asking myself , am i really on the defensive all the time ?? ..so much that people are walking on egg shells around me?? or do i attract people who are like this, because i do know people like this? i'm so confused about it .. wondering if i have a t-shirt on that says... I'm a Victim!

Sometimes not trusting someone completely is a good thing. You dont' need to be healed of your problem. You just need to find the right person to trust, and the right time to trust them. It will come in time. Untill then, just enjoy being who you are! =]