I Don't Trust My Boyfriend Of 2+ Years

I love my boyfriend to death....He's done alot of wrong things in the past which as made me now not really trust him....I thought I was over everything and got past it but boy was I wrong. He recently joined the National Guard and that just brought everything up back in my face real hard. Fear of him cheating at ait, or fear of him finding someone he really liked throughout the whole experience, or him just not feeling the same about me when he gets back, etc. See when we are good, we are GREAT but this past month has been a roller coaster. I feel like I've given my heart and then some and he has yet to give me his...Yea once in awhile he says he loves me, but really? And sometimes the things he says to me when we argure are just downright hateful and puts me down terribly. I'm really at a crossroad here and sure what to do...my head tells me to do one thing and my heart tells me to do another....
fireworks87 fireworks87
22-25, F
4 Responses Nov 4, 2010

Thank you everyone for your thoughts...Yes I have talked to him about how he verbally hurts me.....we are getting better and I'm working on myself and trying to let some things go. Thank you

I wish you all the best by the way. Cheers sweetie;)))

Trust in a relationship is vital. I think he has done a remarkable thing by joining the National Guard. My concern is with your self esteem. If he is putting you down and not saying nice things to you, that is not a healthy environment for you. This is a situation you need to listen to your head and not your heart. The long term affects of this type of mental abuse is damaging to ones self worth. I don't know if you have ever approached him about the things you don't like that he says to you, but this might be the time if things are to change. He should compliment you in all different ways.

I believe you should believe what your head says and not your heart. He has made an important step in his life by joining the national guard, which mean a bright future for the two of you. If you over-think his actions and worry too much than you lose what he is trying to accomplish. Go ahead a worry but keep the facts straight at all time, like is he cheating? Is he on drugs? is he lying? Listen to your head and not your heart, for the next 12 months.