I Feel Like I Don't Know Myself Anymore..

I have these great imaginations in my head.. imagination about helping girls with eating disorders, since i overcame one, imagination about everyone being nice to each other...... why isn't it possible? what is the best way of life? i don't know where my passion lies, and i feel like i am getting too much information, and i don't know what to do with it.. sometimes, i start thinking very negatively about myself, and tell myself that i am a worthless piece of crap, while other times, i tell myself that i am beautiful and that i need to believe in myself.. it's always alternating, my view on myself is always changing. sometimes, i feel like i can handle any social situations, while sometime i feel anxious even thinking about getting into a social situation.. i have racing thoughts too, and i feel like many of my thoughts contradict themselves. This makes me feel very lonely and sad inside. i have so much work to catch up on for school. there;s only a week till finals. i am feeling quite stressed about it.. i wish this school had counselors and extra support when they did in Massachusetts, can i be strong? actually nevermind, i would end up resenting you if you answered that because how can you tell me that i can when you don't even know me.. see this is another problem of mine, well i know that people are just trying to help.. so nvm.. i take the resentment back.. i guess its better than a boo hoo, or your weak.. how do i become strong? how did i become this weak? i just hate it... i wonder how long this phase of mine is going to last..
dupjang dupjang
18-21, F
May 24, 2012