I Don't Understand Myself Sometimes
For the past months, I feel something is not right with myself.
As years passed, the understanding of the real 'me' begun to blurred even more. Thanks to special someone who help me realize it.
Deep in my heart I know these 17 years, I've been living to please the people around me, changing persona so people wouldn't be mad at me, so I'll always seen as a good person with no flaws and such, so my parents or my family would never have to worry about me, so people would not pity me, so people would not think bad behind my back, so there's no unnecessary conflict between me and the people I know.
But then I realized, as I've been living to please people.. Who am I actually? What I truly want? What I actually want to do? What is my passion? Who I love? What is my happiness?
I've thrown my dreams just because my parents say no to it, I didn't dare to questions my parents desicion up until now, and I'm in the verge of letting go the one I love so much just because I know my family wouldn't allow me because he's not chinese.
As the one I love keep questioning what I want. I too want to know what I want, what I imagine my life would be,
And most importantly who I am.
As years passed, the understanding of the real 'me' begun to blurred even more. Thanks to special someone who help me realize it.
Deep in my heart I know these 17 years, I've been living to please the people around me, changing persona so people wouldn't be mad at me, so I'll always seen as a good person with no flaws and such, so my parents or my family would never have to worry about me, so people would not pity me, so people would not think bad behind my back, so there's no unnecessary conflict between me and the people I know.
But then I realized, as I've been living to please people.. Who am I actually? What I truly want? What I actually want to do? What is my passion? Who I love? What is my happiness?
I've thrown my dreams just because my parents say no to it, I didn't dare to questions my parents desicion up until now, and I'm in the verge of letting go the one I love so much just because I know my family wouldn't allow me because he's not chinese.
As the one I love keep questioning what I want. I too want to know what I want, what I imagine my life would be,
And most importantly who I am.
By:
Minyaa
Age:
16-17
