Men Who Play Daddy To Another's Child(ren) Yet Abandon Their Own

My former partner and I planned a child together, but soon after I conceived of her, he became a different person. I got no love, care or support from him and two weeks into my daughter's life, I learned that he had been cheating on me since the first trimester of my pregnancy. We are no longer together and he is now openly dating this other woman. She is not at all attractive, is half his age and has a disabled son.

My daughter's father claims to love her, but makes no effort to see her or to even find out if she is well. I also had to get a court order against him for child support. On the other hand, he is lavishing all of his time, energy and money on this woman's offspring. She relishes in this fact and makes a point of advertising it to me, by sending me nasty messages on Facebook and by posting pictures of him entertaining and spoiling her child.

I need to understand how a man can plan a child and then abandon the woman he made pregnant? Why he would cheat with someone less attractive, who has "baggage"? Why he would abandon his own child for the child of another?

AngryMommy AngryMommy
26-30, F
7 Responses Dec 18, 2009

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my husband cheated on me and abandoned me and our two kids. he left to go elsewhere (millions of miles away) for someone else and he still kept in contact with his kids but would do more with his new gfs son then he ever did with his own kids when he was here. he would take him to the park/beach and post it all over facebook and make me feel like crap, when she finally threw him out (hahaha) he still keeps in contact with her son and has his photos all over his facebook but dosent have much to do with his own kids anymore now that he lives closer again :( made me feel very upset and angry that he would choose her son over his own kids but in the end there was nuthing much i could do bout it but try to move on and b mother and father for my own kids cause in the end they are the most important people in my life. good luck with everything and hope everything goes well xxoo

My father did the exact same thing, he left when I was three and my brother an infant. He tried to re-enter my life in my 20's only I didn't want him there then, he was a stranger to me, but his step children, they are living nice lives and even got put through college, that is really ******.......I guess he was upset when the Fathers Day card didn't come in the mail, lol...yeah, I think he really thought he was getting one, what a putz and a jack ***.

I know your case is truly not the same as mine. I know you would do anything to see your daughter. I have read your pain and misery where that subject brings out all you have, and I understand that. That makes you a man in that you aren't staying out of her life by your own choice.
My father just walked away, paid minimal support and had the right to see both my little brother and me not only every weekend, and most holidays but summer vacations as well. After we turned 12, we could have chose to live with him instead of being abused by the alcoholic ********* that our mother married because he was retiring t age 40 with a huge pension and a lot of money in back pay down the road. They have had 40-50 k settlements and blown it on drugs and alcohol, and they still rent with nothing to their name to show for any of that, and now he is dying, and she is an addict and she has tried getting her azz back in my door, but that doesn't work on me any more, I don't feel any kind of sorry for her her any more, she is the reason he left. She was what drove him away, but I sae the divorce papers and he had the right, he just didn't want us and I don't think he spent any time looking back until after my brother was killed in a car wreck when I was married and expecting my youngest son. He thought I was cold when I seen him that day, I guess he should not have expected a Fathers Day card, after all I wrote him letters in my teens, and he never answered not ONE....So I am sorry but you are wrong about all of the fathers thinking about their children, not all do. I understand that you are a kind hearted man who DESERVES custody of your daughter, that is why I once advised you to keep your papers that prove you were not there only because her mother was cruel and lied on you...she will forgive you, but trust me, at the least she will resent her mother, at the most she will hate her....but I don't hate this man, he is a stranger that I resent and despise because he had a choice to be the father I needed instead of me having the abuser and the abuse as well, and that goes double for the younger brother who was always toking on a joint (as was I0 to try to dull some of the pain of being us, people knowing, looking at us with pity, yet they did nothing to help, MAYBE if he would have been in our lives the coward would not have abused us then, he would have been afraid to, so yeah I am very bitter and will always be for that, it was one of the two people who ever betrayed me that badly in life !!!!!

I love my wife's son as much as I do my own. Even now, when we are going through divorce, he comes to me to visitation. He calls me daddy, I cared for him for 3 years. Breaks my heart not having the two of them with me all the time. Now they have their first weekend with me since I moved out last saturday, and yesterday he said he wanted to stay with me and not return to his mother. He's 4...He has been saying that even when I still lived there. Last night he woke up at 3AM and he wanted me to get into bed with him, he was all shaky and stuff. Waited till he slept. Ever since my wife got in contact with that guy who moved in few days after I moved out, she has been ignoring them in a way. After our big fight, he started wetting his bed for a few days, but I was working nights so I figured she'd change the bed when she got back home from taking them to school. 4th day I put him to bed, and smelled it hadden't been changed, so I did and talked to her about it. She said she 'forgot'. Few days later, he wet his pants at school, and the morning after I stayed up after my last night shift to drive him to school. When I was getting him ready, she said: Oh you need to change his underwear, he had an accident at school yesterday. I asked why she didn't do it the evening before and she replied to me that he didn't want to. And our youngest son all of a sudden became her favorite target to get her frustration out. I know he's not the easiest kid to have, but she realy started becoming agressive towards him at that point...

my ex abandoned my child 23 years ago and I refused to give CSA information about him thinking it would stop him seeing his son he never bothered anyway.<br />
Recently he started talking to me via fb, to be honest I didnt give him too much thought over the years i just could not understand anyone walking away from blood. I speaking to him for 3 months on fb n he not asked once about wether the son ok or nothing. I then told him I am not prepared to carry on talking to him pretending the son not exist his response. . . . . . . . he blocked me

Hi, <br />
I have an ex husband who abbandoned his two kids, a boy 14 and a girl almost 18.<br />
He is a narcisist and has no problem turning off the switch. For people who wonder how people can just pick up and leave their children, I suggest they ready all about narcissist's as well as sociopaths. Maybe it will help with the questions. Does not solve the situation, but knowledge is power.<br />
Take care

I have a good lookin nephew that hooked up with a woman with MS and two kids. He is perfectly healthy.<br />
I cannot figure that out at all....<br />
<br />
Just get your child support and drop Facebook. Dont torture yourself. <br />
You just need to move on...he will get his just deserts.