Difficult

Though not adult in nature, I do not want children reading this.  My story is about my mother.  She urinates on her furniture, herself and floor.  She will not wear pads or even allow her hygiense to be discussed.  She does not wipe after defacating and will even sit in the chair with her pants down and leave feces smeared on furniture.  All is disregarded and not allowed to be spoken of.  She never washes her hands and consistently eats with her fingers and suckles her fingers afterwards.  she baths once a week, smells of fetted fish and i have never seen her wash her hair.  she is coherent, intelligent and wonderful with money.  she hates me yet relies on me to shop for her.  she has become a sloth.  she watches tv all the time and plays on the computer. her surrounding areas are filled with old food and trash.  she can get up to fetch food but not pitch trash or dump used mugs.  when i have gently try to approach this, she sneers and refuses to have this addressed.  i am at a complete impass.

typoquene typoquene
41-45, F
5 Responses Feb 16, 2010

You do need to get out. You also did your best.She'll choose the filth before family ..you cannot change her. Rest assured, it's her choice .Take care of yourself.

she has always been this way. i spoke with her about and she is offended and will live the way she pleases period. it is not for me to change her. i just gotta get up funds and move out and let her live the way she wants. the tension is hard. she gets ticked when i mention handwashing after she handles something poisonous and refuses. tons of eyerolling. i give up completely. if i am an enabler fine. my counscious is okay with that. i am tired of the bickering and BS. no excuse but hey...it is her purgatory , her choices, her life

This is a tough one. Seeing this with your Mom must be terrible. Something is wrong with her. Maybe the beginning of senility. My daughter is a home nurse & walks into these horrible conditions all the time. Living in filth & human waste ,requires social services to intervene. Once the smell and feces all over the place was so strong, my daughter went outside to vomit. It only gets worse.

i see your point. this is a tough one, being upfront. this is going to take reams of courage. god..big step!

so you have become an enabler only you can make changes ,as long as you put up with the situation It wont change.good luck.