Written on May 19th, 2012
she was like my big sister ... we always talked aboutneverything and was real and comfortable with eachother...i had good talks with her. and thenne day, she disappeared...no goldbye or a single word was said...did i do something wrong or is it something i didnt do?? ive been holding emotions for a week or so...until yesterday, i couldnt take no more and i broke down and cried in my mom's arms...she didnt even know wat was going on except that her 18 daughter was melodramatically sobbing in her arms...i told her how she just left...and that i wasnt mad her... my mom heard of the girl i am speaking of...and she liked her ba
se off the things i told her bout the girl... thats why she dont understand why she will just leave with no word said... i cried and kept telling my mom "she said she will never leave me and she vowed mom...all i want isnto have my best friend/sister back!" my mom seriously didnt know wat to do...but just hold me and comfort me... i told her " just cuz of this little incident, i am never getting attached to ppl again...all they do is say i wont leave u or hurt u, but they end up doing the other..and i dont even wanna waste them wasting their time trying to prove to me that they are different, cux i wont believe them!" my mom said "well maybe shes busy.." and i said "so its okay and give her the right to ignore me, delete me off her fb, wont ever txt me when i txt her?!" and ibsaid " mom its pretty funny how ppl u know becum ppl u knew, where u can walk right pass them or ignore them like they werent a big part of ur life." i kept saying i wanted my Nano(grandma) and papou(grandpa)... and my mom said " u still have Cheryl.." and then all of a sudden i stopped crying...and i realized that i did have Cheryl...she was there supporting me 100% with everything, making me laugh,smile,forget about ****** things,and etc. i noticed that...Cheryl is my sister and shes amazing. and i am happy shes in my life...i just want that person who left me, atleast tell me wat i even did wrong or didnt do...i earn that to know...but ill wait for u to come to me...i just wish u eould have bye or even a small word or something...from this moment on, i am not trusting ppl or getting attached to them...now i have put up those traps and walls around my heart...i will not allow anyone to hurt me again...