Understanding Women

I can’t claim ownership or authorship for what follows as it was told to me by a good friend. However, I thing it actually does a pretty good job of explaining the whole man, God, women, deal.

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There was a man named John, and he was a good man. He had lived a very long and full life, and in his life had done almost everything he could to put the things he had been taught into practice in his life. He was honest, humble, genuine, served others, gave of his substance to the poor, was fair, hard working, unselfish, and the model human being in all the good qualities we are taught in dealing with each other.

One day, as John was sitting meditating and pondering what more he could do to serve his fellow man, he looked up and beheld an angel standing before him. The angel introduced himself as St. Peter, and then the angel said “John, this is one of the most unusual things I have every been asked to do. God has noted your lifetime of unselfish good works, and has been very impressed. He told me to come here today and grant you one wish, for anything you want. The only restriction is that the wish must be for something for you. You have spent your entire life unselfishly serving others, and God wants this wish to be for something just for you! What will you wish for?”

Well John thought for a few minutes, and deeply considered everything he could wish for, and finally responded to St. Peter as follows: “Well, I’ve always loved two things, and have always thought how wonderful it would be to combine them. I really love riding my Harley, and the way the wind blows through my hair and the fresh air and everything associated with riding my bike. And I think the most beautiful place in the entire world is Hawaii. I love the sights, the smells, the way the air is so fresh and clean, and everything about Hawaii. I’d like to ride my Harley in Hawaii, and so for my wish, I’d like the Lord to build me a bridge from California to Hawaii, so I could ride my bike there and back whenever I wanted, for the rest of my life.”

“Wow”, replied St. Peter. “That’s a very big wish. Let me check in with the boss, and I’ll be back tomorrow to let you know what he says”.

The next day, St. Peter returned and said “John, God is concerned. Although he is willing to grant you your wish, he is concerned about the impact of your wish. He is concerned about the environmental impact upon both Hawaii and California. He is concerned about the effect on birds, and fishes, and how the sudden appearance of this bridge will be explained, and the impact upon humankind and their free agency, when it is discovered that God built this bridge for you. There are many many possible problematic issues that God is concerned about, and he asked me to ask you if there isn’t something else he can grant you that will be as meaningful to you, but with less impact upon the rest of the world?”

John thought some more, and then said “OK, I understand. Tell God I’ll be happy if he can just grant me the ability to understand women and how they think”.

“OK, I’ll report back and see you tomorrow” replied St. Peter.

The next day, St. Peter came back to visit John and simply said “God wants to know if you would like that bridge two lanes, or four lanes wide”.

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If the big guy himself can’t understand them, how in the world can we ever hope to?

TWOF
TheWiseOldFool TheWiseOldFool
56-60, M
1 Response May 17, 2012

Thanks for your comment. Funny thing about this story is that once you have shared it with someone, later, when they are stuggling with a relationship issue, all you have to do is say "So is that bridge going to be 2 or 4 lanes?" and you will both start laughing out loud. TWOF