Thinking Too Much

Have you ever felt empty, or incomplete? As if there was something missing, a hole in your personality that needed filling. When you look yourself in the mirror all you can see is your eyes coldly looking back at you and into the void. You try to fill the void with things. I filled mine with women, and this cured it temporarily, alot of it I think is deep-rooted insecurity, I sometimes think I look more for acceptance and comfort rather than for a meaningful relationship witha woman. When I analyse myself further I think it maybe related to times when I was younger, when I felt alone and isolated with no one there, and this story has replayed itself on numerous occasions as i've grown up. Insecurity would strike and immediately i'd feel isolated and alone. So I turned to women for that company, for that warmth of being accepted and knowing i'm not alone. Also I think its rooted to secondary school, to a girl I "loved" (bearing in mind I was 14/15 at the time) after having become depressed over her it lead to me deciding to become better with women and to all my past and present female relations. I need something real in my life. I think too much.
The5Cs The5Cs
18-21
2 Responses May 29, 2007

We do need to fill that void . I am presently praying again that we be filled inside by the Holy Spirit as there is nothing else that can be more lasting and satisfying than to Love God, Have faith and ask, that you may be filled as I am asking this as I forget God in my life from time to time and need to be renewed.

I know only to well that feeling of something being missing, and know that the need to fill the void is a very real and sometimes overwhelming need, yet like you i am as yet unsure how to fill it.... so i guess for now we just keep looking and hope that one day we will find what makes us complete....<br />
DONT GIVE UP HOPE !!