I Don't Know!I have been thinking about this recently. I am a very independent person who enjoys the freedoms of being unattached and childfree. But part of me has been thinking recently that I would like to have children, yet another part of me is horrified by the thought. I have a feeling that the way my life pans out will dictate whether I have any.
I have never been very interested in men, so this very much restricts my potential for having children. I know women can have children without men, but I just think that if I cannot do it naturally then it is just not meant to be. If I came to this earth as someone who just isn't interested in men, then I should focus my energies on other things.
In my job I work with teenagers and I really like the nuturing part, seeing them develop and helping them move forward in their lives. This makes me think that I would like to have a child in my life, raising a child must be one of the most rewarding things in the world.
I seem to have plenty of time and I do get bored. I bet I would never bored if I had children! Would be something to focus my time, something worthwhile. But equally my life would be swallowed whole.
In some ways I am a big kid myself and I love a reason to play with lego or get the paints out. I think I would enjoy revisiting all of this if i were to have kids. But then equally there are plenty of reasons to play with toys besides having children!
But I look at my mums life and it's the model of the way i don't want my life to be. She was a single parent and it was tough, she struggled with 3 children on her own, she couldn't cope. I don't want my life to be a stuggle I want to enjoy life! I can only see myself as a single parent, I can see myself having one child only because I think I could cope with one child on my own. Because of my upbringing i find it hard to beleive that a partner would stick around and being a women I would be left with all the hard work. I'm not sure how this would pan out if I had a female partner but like I said earlier its possibly just not meant to be.
So if I don't have children. What do i focus my energies on instead?