All My Reasons For Not Wanting Children

I grew up knowing a lot more than a child should. I'm sure 3rd world countries have it bad, but that level of life is not comparable to that of a 1st world. 3rd world people have 3rd world problems, and 1st world people have theirs. They are separate and different.

Anyway, I think children are precious. Children truly are the future and educating them and looking after them can be fulfilling, but I can do this without being a parent. It doesn't have to be permanent. I prefer it to be temporary if at all. Most people like the idea of creating mini versions of themselves or they want to pass their genes on. But not me. I have a messed up genepool and my father's and mother's genes do not need to be passed on. I'm being considerate of my potential offspring. Not to mention, people are soo interested in the idea of sharing moments with their future children but they don't look at the reality of having children. Some people half-*** mother/fatherhood, and I can't stand that.  Children require a lot of time, patience, and money. Children are an 18+ year commitment. Children require you to compromise IE: you can't come and go freely, you gotta take them everywhere, you have to withhold certain information from them until they're "ready" and be careful of what the media might expose to them. You can't travel freely without taking them along and make sure they're enjoying themselves as well- unless you're rich enough to afford a nanny to watch them at home while you're away. Children need a lot of attention, enrichment, love and more. As they get older, things change as well. As a past nanny with a wide range of experience, I got to experience having children without permanence. People think it's different but it isn't. When I'm left alone to care for these children, I treat them as my own. I bathe them, feed them, play with them, read them bedtime stories and most importantly, I guard them with my life. Can you imagine the pressure I'm under? If any bad crap goes down while their parents are away, it's all on me. Regardless, I have my own reasons beyond all this. I've lived my whole life without real stability and security. When I manage to maintain it, I want to be able to relax and breathe without stressing over " my children". I need to live a little more. I want to travel and go on my adventures and mentor children as I go, but I don't need to make more children. This world has more than enough orphans and neglected children who need love and guidance. If I were to do anything, it's adopt. But like I said, I don't want that kind of responsibility. I am my own responsibility, and that alone is enough with the career I have, and the aspirations I want to fulfill. While I love many things in this world, I hate many as well. I don't want to have a child so that it will grow up in a world like this; a society obsessed with sex, full of sex offenders and discrimination, with slavery still in existence and poverty-ridden. A world that is walking on tight rope, pushing the climate to dysfunction but unwilling to repair the damage or prevent further damage due to greed- where the law system is as good as its people, and some of the people are good for nothing... I used to want children, but I've gone through enough to help me decide I don't want children anymore. With the "joy" of giving birth comes the pains in the process. I don't want any additional pain I can avoid. I am selfish. But at least I admit to it. I have every right to be selfish. I was thrown around  and neglected as a child, and as soon as I could work, I busted my *** to survive. So when I finally find some time to breathe, I want to be able to enjoy myself and show myself the care and love I need to give myself. If I can barely handle myself, how can I take on another life that I brought into this world? So to simply put it, I don't want more responsibilities, this world is not good enough for my children, I'd rather contribute to the existing children in the world who need it, and I want to enjoy my freedom. If I get lucky enough to find a wonderful man to share it with, great. But he is not going to "tie" me down as much as a child would if at all. A man is not "needy" the way a child is, and he would motivate me to keep myself sexy as much and as long as possible- a child would give me the most messed up stretch marks with my genes. I'm not even exaggerating. I sometimes wonder if my mom resents me for "causing"her disgusting stretchmarks. She's gotten a tummy tuck and it wasn't enough to remove all the damage. She ended up tattooing a gnarly image on it so she wouldn't have to see it. :/ And let me add again, I want to be able to have sex freely.

If you want kids, more power to you, if not, more freedom to you!
loveisdeadly loveisdeadly
22-25, F
5 Responses Aug 9, 2010

I know quite a few people who have chosen not to have children, I can't see the problem. I love my children and grandchildren and I am sure that some people who chose not to have children would love their offspring too....but I am sure people who know they don't want children and chose not to have them know what they are doing. They don't need others trying to change their mind. Why can't people understand we are not all the same and we should do what suits us best not what everyone else is doing.<br />
I am absolutely disgusted when I see people such as that American family with about 18 children with names starting with the same initial. There are too many people on this planet, these are the selfish people. Just how much quality time do these children or babies really ever get with their parents. Its a wonder the parents can remember their names, let alone give them five minutes of their time each day. It's very sad.

I agree completely, I hear you with the genes that shouldn't be passed on, and there is way too many people in the world. I don't want to be an irresponsible parent that goes " oh but it didn't come with a manual, you know?" and justify my mistakes as a parent.

Well repro1, I agree with you on everything to a certain degree. But I will say that some of my reasons are truly selfish, and of course some are not- they're just logical. And I strongly agree about the adoption. Overall, I know where you are coming from, and I strongly agree, but there are exceptions of course.

I really wish childfree people would stop calling themselves selfish. We are not. The breeders who want a "mini-me" or to "pass on a legacy" are bulls**ting themselves and are the selfish ones. They just want a carbon copy of themselves with their genes. Most of them refuse to adopt because if it isn't theirs, they don't want it. How's that for selfish? I personally wouldn't bring a child into this world full of...Humans.

"a child would give me the most messed up stretch marks with my genes. "<br />
<br />
Did you read it clearly? I said "with MY genes". Don't call people ignorant and be hypocritical at the same time. The meaning of life doesn't revolve around children. Plenty of happy successful people with no children exist. And I'm going to warn you to stop bashing people for having different perspectives. People don't come on here to be ridiculed, so mind yourself.