No Children For Me; Let Me Live My Own Life

I am sick and tired of people telling me that I am still young and will change my mind about having children as I get older. I have already made up my mind. I do not want children. The worst part is how certain people tend to make fun of me exactly because of that. They can be downright cruel. I am not making fun of them for wanting to get married and having kids. It's like you are getting discriminated for not wanting to have children. I wish they would mind their own business and let me live my life the way I want.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life looking after child. I'm not very good with children, and I never have been. I can't stand them. The thought of having one growing inside of me rather disgusts me actually. I spent my entire childhood surroundered by children of all ages, (my mum's job included looking after eight to nine children every single day), so it's safe to say that I got my share of rude, bratty and noisy kids when I was younger.

I would like to travel and see the world. Visit all kinds of places and meet all kinds of different people. I want to study language, food, art and photography. There is simply not room for children (even if there were I wouldn't want them.)

So to those who might say I am selfish for not wanting any kids, it's just as selfish getting one for selfish reasons. Most people these days seems to have children for all the wrong reasons and because all their friends are getting one.

Children? No thanks, not me.
Maribelle Maribelle 18-21 10 Responses Jul 3, 2011

Your Response


I feel exactly the same as you. I can't stand kids, never could, and believe that even having one is gross. I stay away from them, can't stand the brattiness, whining, complaining, messy things they are. People always say that I was a kid once...yup I sure was but I didn't ask to be one and that has no merit regarding my personal choices. The worlds overpopulated. I barely have time or money to take care of myself. Oh, and when people say its selfish? That's hilarious. On the contrary....a lot of people want kids to help them financially or to help them as they grow is that not selfish. If we choose to not have kids...we choose to not have kids. People should be HAPPY that we know what we want (or don't want) and move on with their lives.

i started out wanting 5 children when I was younger but that quickly changed.. I dont have any kids today and I'm very proud of that!! I have never been married and I dont really want a boyfriend. (companion yes .. boyfriend no) I also go through the weird looks people give me when they ask me and I tell them I dont have Kids... Its really sickening.. The next biggest question I get also is " Are you gay? is that why u dont have a man ? please!. I'm almost 30 and Still have no desire and I dont believe I'll ever get the desire ..

i wont say you are selish,but remember you were conceive and raise by a woman who you call your mom,if your mom should pass away today you are what will be used to remember her cause you carry are trait,you have some of her uniqueness cause she gave birth to you.after a ll the traveling then what,you grow old not living a trace of yourself.and if your mother as made the same decision will you be in existence.think of it

I disagree, the same traits you have someone of a different family tree could have, physical and mental. Although all humans are unique some of us do share the same traits.
As for growing old, you may have friends other family members or just good health till the end of your time. Leaving behind a mini me is not exactly insurance for a lot of poor souls whose children put them in homes or who can’t financially or physically take care of them. As for remembrance everyone will be forgotten one day, it’s the truth 6 or so generations down the line you will be dropped or just mentioned. I don’t know about you but I hear of stories of great aunts and uncles and friends of so-in-so from a few generations back all the time that will also be forgotten, so what’s the difference???
I must say the quote “what if your mother made the same decision” is lame. The fact is she did and gave new life. If someone choices not to that changes nothing you can’t create what was never there. So in other words you can’t erase the writer’s existence and there is no turning back. So the argument is mute.

it no argument miss you've already made your decision and it is your choice,but remember decision,choice all have there on consequences miss.

That’s the beauty of being an individual; we all have our own opinions. :)

Totaly understand the why dont you want kids question!!! It's so fustrating!!! I am so sick and tired of people telling me you will change your mind, I am so sick and tired of this!!! Some people in this world know what they want and it is not up to you to challenge them!! Who made you my decision maker? I kid you not every person who has told me “you’ll change your mind” or something similar in a serious or nasty demeanor I have nothing to do with till this day. I am sorry but I only stick to those who support my choices and not what they think I should do.

I agree 100%, I want to be your friend, and possibly date you, I have no desire to father a child much less children, I believe we just might be a good match for each other, if you have a facebook account please add me, my name is Jason Loukx, I am the only one with this name, so you won't have any problems finding me on facebook, please do contact me, I really want to get to know you....

I'm with you Maribelle. My situations have been pretty much the same. I got tired of staunchly defending myself and nowadays I usually just answer nay sayers with "it's possible I guess. But unlikely." People who want or happily have kids don't understand and they can't. Just like we can't understand how they could possibly want them. Good for you for standing up for yourself!

It sounds like you actually have a good enough of a reason to tell people for not wanting to have kids when they don't understand it. All of the traveling you want to do can't be done while you're chained down by a kid to take care of, so that alone should be a good enough of a reason to make people just accept it.

When it comes down to it, when people are rude and get on your nerves about not wanting to be a parent, just ignore them. When you get the chance to travel around and see new people and new things, I hope you have fun on your trips.

Totally agree with everything you've said. I want to be free to lead by own life, not spend it looking after a kid. And yes, people have kids for selfish reasons, like wanting something to love, or perhaps more honestly wanting something to love them, or because they want to feel fulfilled, or just by mistake etc. etc.



I've known a lot of women that say the're never having kids but all of them changed their minds when they were approaching 40. I have the same problem when I tell people "I never want a husband or boyfriend type again". All the responses are similar "You may not want one NOW but you may change your mind later". What I mean is "NO - I REFUSE". I spent most of my life married to problematic jerks and the rest of my life is ME time. Time for ME to do everything I never did before - be a single woman. I've been through menopause and I no longer have any desire for sex. I think it's repulsive, vulgar and disgusting, but I used to LOVE IT. Enough is enough. I used to have unhealthy man-dependence and I don't want to do that any more. It doesn't matter what other people say, if you know who you are and what you are or are not going to do. You could always say to these people "Yeah maybe" or something but I know you want to be validated for your position. Children are a great big hassle and an enormous amount of hard work. I think your other interests are better ideas. That's what I wish I had done instead of the boring "marriage babies" thing. I think you're a lot more intelligent than most people. A woman who can stand on her own two feet by herself in the world is the most "together" person. I think you're very cool.