No Kids At This House. We're Too Busy Taking Care Of Every One Else.

<.< My mom has been bugging my husband & I for children for at least the last 2 years. More so NOW since my cousin & his wife had a daughter making my auntie a grandmother. My mom wants to have a grandchild so bad she even got both my brother & I both a house hoping that either I or my sister in law would accidently get preggers cause apparently she doesn't want kids either.

I told my mother 10 years ago that my husband & I don't want kids & yet she still harps about it. Every time I see her she says; "Well your mother in law has grandchildren." I almost said to her; "Ok fine here's my sister in laws phone number." Seriously, it's taking a toll on me & she acts like it's MY problem because SHE's the one who wants grandchildren. I've decided that today I've had enough either she accepts that she gets my husband & I in her life & no grandchildren or she gets nothing. No more contact from us, no more updates from me. She gets squat.

What my mother fails to understand is what I go through on a day to day basis. I have my reasons for not wanting to have kids & I HAVE gone over those issues with her. Not only that but more has come up to make me want to have children even less because one, I have to take care of a dog i personally don't want. But I am taking care of it for a family member who is ill & plan on giving their animal to them when they are well enough to take it back. Which could be for up to a year or longer. But if this person CAN'T take care of the animal properly then I'm going to end up with the animal any way because I promised to take care of it on their behalf. I may not like having a dog but I refuse to return the animal to a home where it can't be properly taken care of. I do have my ethics & standards here.

Number two; my husband has to constantly has to take care of his mothers prescriptions. Meaning that HE's the one who has to make sure that her pills are counted out for how much she can take during the week. She doesn't know how to do it for herself & she doesn't trust any one else to do that for her but my husband; thus we see his mom & father on a weekly basis because of this.

This in itself wouldn't be a problem IF he could work out a schedule with her for us to come over on. But because of issues arising she always has to come first even before we do. <.<

So yea.. Not only that but I've told many of the people who work with my husband that we don't want kids & a few are fine with that, but a few others have looked at me like I'm from Mars. I mean people on this site can understand that I & my husband don't want kids.. But in society where it's over ridden with married couples who already have children or who have children it's a whole different story. I suppose according to society were taught by the mass media that when we get married we're supposed to get a house, then procreate. Or some b.s. >.>

[rant] NO. Ok, just no, enough of this crap. It's my life & I can choose what I personally want out of life & if that choice includes NOT to have children then I don't understand why I can't stick to that decision with out every one INCLUDING their mother trying to convince me to "change my mind" other wise about it! Look, I am NOT having a child for YOU or ANY ONE else's benefit. I don't care how much, you or any one else may WANT a child; it is JUST not going to happen so you & every one else in society needs to get the **** over it. <.< [/rant] (This rant is directed more at a society [& parents who can't understand why a couple may not want them] who wants us married folk to have kids when we in fact don't want them. >.>)
queenzelda queenzelda
36-40, F
2 Responses Jul 22, 2012

queenzelda update & new profile: It's still every now and then that she harps about this but some times I feel that it's just ridiculous. I've been feeling recently that unless I want my mother to have anything to do with me I have to give her what she wants & my husband just wants me to be done with having anything to do with her; the sooner the better.. But honestly; I can't do that cause then I'd be shutting out my dad and I love him to much & I know how much he loves me. Ugh, I wish I could just deal with my father & not have to see my mom anymore. =/

Having kids is over-rated. They're annoying and expensive. And I think you're right about your mom. You needs to hear what you're saying and if it means loss of contact, then it should make her realise what she's done. She would, I'm sure, prefer to have her daughter than grandchildren.

Well she's stopped harping about wanting granchildren it's less often then it was, but it does slip out sometimes & when it does is when I usually leave. she's stopped talking about it since I've started doing that. So far so good.

The other day my mother in law asked me.. "How did your mom handle your not wanting to have kids?" I told her; "She bugs me yea, but not as much as before. But she didn't disown me or anything. But it's like my dad told says you can want in one hand & crap in the other & see which one fills first." To which she said; "Then she's going to have a very brown hand." Which is definately a true statement. XD