I've Made Up My Mind!

Hello, I am new to this group! Glad I found this group, because I feel I am in the minority. I am 22-years-old and in college. All my friends think I am nutter butters for not wanting to have children. I tell people that I still want to go good in the world. I do not hate children, but I just don't have the qualities to be a parent. It's also rough because I'm Christian and everyone tells me that I should have children if I want to get married!! I believe that just because I'm young doesn't mean I can't make up my mind not to have children.


I wanted to get my tubes tied, but they say I either need to have three children or be over the age of 30! Anyway, I am a nice, sweet person. I have had a hard time dating because most of the men I've met want to have children, and I do not. I love animals, and that's all the "children" I want! My mother is fine with me not having children, as she already has two grandchildren and isn't the grandmother type.

I would like to be married, someday, but I feel it's hopeless to meet a man who doesn't want children. I have gotten mean looks and remarks when I say I don't want children. People say it's a phase or that I'll get over it. My sister (who's 40) pressures me! I feel that I don't have the tempermant to be a parent, I am not really comfortable with children, and I would like to just get up and go somewhere. 



ChihuahuaSweetheart ChihuahuaSweetheart
31-35, F
8 Responses Mar 11, 2009

I think you are being very responsible and show good sense about life. This world is becoming over crowded more by the moment. To make a concise decision to not bring more life into this world is not only prudent for the world but prudent for those children that would be be left to suffer the consequences of what may lay ahead. Your are the captain of your vessel !!

Thank you! I'm in exactly the same position as you and am so glad to finally find other people who don't want children! I'm sick of the 'you'll change your mind when you're older' rubbish. I'm 22 and I've never wanted children. Only problem is my fiance does (but says he's fine with not having them) - I think men who truly don't want kids are rare, most are just so shocked to meet a woman who doesn't.

Don't ever let anybody pressure or bully you into having kids if you don't want. You are the best judge of who you are and only you know if you'll be a good parent or not. <br />
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As for me, I know I'd be a bad parent, I've got emotional problems along with an anger problem. And I know that I don't have one maternal bone in my body and never felt the urge to have kids. A lot of people don't realize or (know me) and tell me I'd be a wonderful mother. I don't think so. There are enough neglected kids in the world, I don't want to add more.


I don't think you're crazy...children are a HUGE, LIFE-LONG commitment...and no one knows you better than you...peace...SS

Well i also think the same way ...but about women<br />
I am from India where giving birth to children is some sort of a ritual or celebration. And here i am almost 29 & who doesn't want children.I have almost given up the hopes of meeting a lady who doesn't want children. It is definitely a pipe dream here.

i don't think its a wrong assumption.<br />
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I feel the same way. I'm 43. <br />
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Its not impossible to find men who don't want children

I dont think your wrong in thinking the way you do. My sister has never had kids and she has been married for like 20 years. There are people out there that dont want kids. I have 2 and I love them to death but honestly it is a lot of work and money. I kind of wish I never had kids becasue of the freedom you have when you dont. I think this world is becoming more and more dangerous and it is hard to bring kids up now a days. Stick with your heart.