I Don't Want Kids...what's Your Problem With That?

I have had the same issue. Telling some people "I don't want kids" is like telling them you wish you had been born purple. They just can't seem to comprehend it.

I completely agree!!! I'm 20 and I never ever wanted kids. I don't hate them but I don't want anything to do with them. I basically raised my younger brother when I was 11 through 18 so I have already had my fill on kids. I love him with all my heart but not enough to do it over again.

Obviously the rude comments came from parents. Here is my take on each Rude comment.*You're not fulfilling your duty as a woman by not having kids. My Take: Being a woman Does Not mean you were created to be a human breeder sow.



*You're not fulfilling your debt to society by not having kids.

My Take: Society has enough children already and for us childless women, society isn't gonna run dry of kids, do to those women who want and will have children.



*Women are designed to be nurturers so therefore you're unnatural.

My Take: Why being female we are automatically seen as a maternal nurturer. I don't want kids, never wanted kids, never had the "biological clock" installed. I hated baby dolls as a child. I don't have the patience,desire,thick skin and reserved stable nerves to handle kids.



*You're going to die alone.

My Take: An obvious scare tactic, there are people who have grown children who die alone, due to having them placed in nursing homes,due to the elderly parent's child or children don't want to deal with them.



*Because of people like you our country's native people will die out as immigrants are filling most of the population now.

My Take: LMAO! Our country's "Native People" are not white, they are Native American (aka American Indian) and we whites are the original Immigrants, not Mexicans, or Muslims. Pure politically incorrect ignorance on their part.



*God you should just be glad your mother didn't share your views!

My Take: If that was the case then you wouldn't have to listen to such rude and ignorant b*llsh*t.



*Your life is going to be empty and meaningless, it's kind of sad really.

My Take: Who says having kids Makes your life full and with meaning, there are mothers out there who had a full life-until they got pregnant.



*Ugh you feminists are ruining society!

My Take: Obviously a man said this,LMAO! Typical Male and excreting pure ignorance and a little bit of misogyny ( a distrust or hatred towards women). Actually there are feminists who are mothers, even if some are lesbians are mothers. We women who have a strong desire to stay childless, doesn't make us Feminists.



*People like you mean that *my* kids are going to have to pay for you when you reach old age instead.

My Take: Actually those kids will have to pay for Their parents when they get old. That is if they actually get and keep jobs when they are grown. Not intelligently thought out.



*People like you are selfish and letting down your genetic train that's been going for thousands of years.

My Take: Not everybody wants their "Genetic Train" to keep on rolling down that thousand of years track. Nothing Wrong with that and if childless people have no problem with that why should anyone else.



*You're just selfish, you don't want kids because you'd rather be able to go out and get drunk every night rather than be a responsible parent.

My Take: Again, LMAO! There are lots of selfish mothers out there doing drugs, getting drunk every night, staying out all night partying right this minute, waking up in some guy's bed they barely know, when they need to be at home raising their children. They are also Mooching off their mothers, for financial support, room & board, and Free babysitting service. :(



Fact: There are parents out there or parents to be that don't like being parents, wish they never had kids and hate us childless people who stay childless. Cost Of Raising A Child Climbs To $235,000 For Middle-Income Families, be blessed if you are a Billionaire or your parents are. So says Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/14/cost-of-raising-a-child-c_n_1597729.html

Holy crap!! People have told you this?!!! Geez....and they're the ones that ***** all the time about parents being lazy, stupid, and irresponsible.

i am a 37 year old childless woman by choice. im a great aunt! im great with kids and when people see me with a child they say " why dont you have a baby? you would be a great mom!" umm no i wouldnt, i know that already. the reason i am good with kids is i only have to be around them a little bit then i can send them home to mommy and daddy!! trust me being a mom to my dog and two hamsters is enough responsability for me. i love my freedom and i know i couldnt take being a parent so i will remain childless. i dont call that being dumb or having something wrong with you i call it being resposible!!

Wait, you DON'T want a three pound meatloaf keeping you up for nights on end for months, possibly years, the sound of screams and cries in your head for years when you don't keep them 100% pleased, the theft of your social and love life, your hard-earned money being used up on baby food diapers and other things, never being able to think about yourself anymore, gaining weight, cellulite, and stretchmarks, geez WHAT is wrong with you?

'I just think nobody should be socially pressured into having kids. ' - I completely, 100% agree. I have had the same sort of pressure as you (but let me just say this: some of the comments you posted above were absolutely vile and smacked of ignorance). I'm 34 and still don't want kids, so I'm probably never going to want to now. I'm single and celibate at present, and entirely happy with that. I am NOT scared of 'dying alone' as some people would like to try and frighten us by saying. I am a very independent woman, I enjoy my own company, I know my own mind, and I'm happy with my current life path.



As I say to mothers who question my choice: 'You've made your choice, I don't question that. Please don't question my choice, just respect it.'

> *You'll end up having five kids, I know it. Just you wait.



No, you will end up having 10 kids and become a mother-heroine, and will get a medal for this, handed in to you personally by the U.S. President. Just wait :)))



> Why do some people refuse to accept that life can be just as rewarding without children.



Children is the closest equivalent of "biological immortality" that this body can achieve. While it is one of the meanings of life, but it's not THE meaning of life. Just like "helping others" is not really the meaning of life, just (on of) many means for achieving it. If you feel that you cannot do it properly, and that this will not bring you closer to the goal, certainly do not set yourself up for failure.

No one has the right to talk to you that way! I find it revolting! I have a son, but I would never ever say anything liket hat to anybody, who caresif you don't want kids...thats your choice and people are just ignorant!

GOOD FOR YOU, for knowing yourself. There are so many people who mindlessly go down the path of marriage and parenthood, just because it is expected. I blame religion. The planet will have 7 billion by the end of the month, isn't that enough? Don't we have enough bad parents?

I don't have the patience to deal with or take care of kids either. Actually to be honest, if there was suddenly some kind of apocalypse and then there was only myself and one woman on the Earth, because of how badly I don't want kids, I would say, "Hello extinction here I come.". When you get those annoying, or rude comments, all you have to do is give a good response back that isn't as rude as the comment you were given, but still shuts the person up about it. Unfortunately I can't think of any at the moment. The only ones that would shut them up would be rude.



If you tell them your reason why and they can't accept it, then just ignore them because they can't make your decisions for you and if they try, then you should just tell them to shut up about it.

Woah too much to read...



Err I don't have a problem with it...your life *shrugs and walks off*

I feel the same way. Ignore other's ideas, as they are simply ideas, it's your life, and it's you who can take the ultimate decision. In my eyes, children are annoying, time consuming, and I am way too selfish to share my life with one. In the end, it will be you dealing with the spawn of Satan.

I could not agree with you more. I've been happily married for over 30 years and we never wanted children and we have no regrets! We all have the right to live our lives as much as we are able to.

First of all, it's your body and your choice and nobody should judge you for whatever your decision is. I am sorry for all the rude, patronizing and annoying comments.



Having said all that, a few things came to mind. It's important that if you decide to get married, that you and your spouse are on the same page. But oddly enough, I never wanted (but was not against the idea oh having) kids, and never considered myself "maternal".



I had no idea that my husband was against having kids until I had delivered my first of two. He has been pretty much been an absent father (doesn't guide them re a life path, financially, or educationally and chooses working over attending school functions, never taught them how to ride a bike, etc.), but I cannot fathom the thought of not having my two precious ones. Honestly, I never knew what true love was, until I became a mother. My heart totally breaks for those who want kids, but cannot adopt or conceive, given what I now understand.



I wish you the best, regardless of whatever path you choose. It's your life to live.

First of all, it's your body and your choice and nobody should judge you for whatever your decision is. I am sorry for all the rude, patronizing and annoying comments.



Having said all that, a few things came to mind. It's important that if you decide to get married, that you and your spouse are on the same page. But oddly enough, I never wanted (but was not against the idea of having) kids, and never considered myself "maternal".



I had no idea that my husband was against having kids until I had delivered my first of two. He has been pretty much been an absent father (doesn't guide them re a life path, financially, or educationally and chooses working over attending school functions, never taught them how to ride a bike, etc.), but I cannot fathom the thought of not having my two precious ones, knowing what I know now. Honestly, I never knew what true love was, until I became a mother. It's not something you can explain or convince someone of...it's an ephiphany. My heart literally breaks for those who cannot conceive that want to or cannot adopt, knowing what I now understand.



I wish you the best, regardless of whatever path you choose. It's your life to live.

*God you should just be glad your mother didn't share your views!* Comments like this are based on the assumption that everyone enjoys existence. I'd never be guilty of forcing anyone to come into this world. Any breeder that tells a CF person that they're selfish needs to look in the mirror. There are never any unselfish reasons for breeding. **** breeders.

Not only do I not want kids but I don't think other people should have kids either. Too many freaking people on this earth. That's why we have an energy crisis.

I'm with you on not wanting to have children. I have had people say stuff like, "Oh, you'll change your mind when you meet the right man," or "Having a baby is the best gift you can give a man." If he is the right man, then he'd understand that I don't want kids and be ok with that. The best gift that I can give a man is myself. I'm not saying that I am God's gift to men, I'm just saying that having me in his life should be a gift, because without me, he wouldn't even have the opportunity to have kids unless he was with another woman. I hope that made sense.

Stick to your truth. Too many people have kids...can't cope with it...regret it and take it out on their kids....



If you want some contact with a young person..but not a full time committment..you can always volunteer at children's charity

Comments like those are seriously annoying.

And101,



Excellent point. I think people who make comments like that are very insecure.



In many cases parents are still looking after their adult children (to a degree) long after they have left home. Who wants to be looking after their kids when they are in their sixties or older?

I always loved the one "You'll die alone." right after "Who will take care of you in your old age?" My observation with both of these lies and false arguments is that: 1) most of the time kids move far away from their parents leaving the parents to fend for themselves anyway, and 2) the kids when they grow up don't want anything to do with "caring for" their elderly parents anyway.

OMG! I am in my late 30's now & STILL have to listen to this crap! I have never wanted to breed & that is my choice. I don't ask my married friends why they had to have kids! Funny thing is THIS: When I ask them why they had to have children, they can never give me a decent answer. People are like sheep. Their parents had kids, so did their siblings, so they do it without thinking. So many parents regret their decision, but by then it's too late & very taboo to admit you regret having your 'beautiful children.' Pffffft! My ovaries will never be used for breeding & if you don't like that, well that's too bad. Jealous much? I spend my $$$ on ME, not my kids. Never want them. Will never have them. AMEN.

It's nice to see so many people agree with me or respecting my views. I would never ever go to a woman and tell her she's stupid for having children but somehow people think it's ok for them to tell me I am stupid for making the opposite choice :( the support is great, I am still strongly against having children. I am sure I can be a nice cool auntie rather than the psycho distant mother I'd be if I had kids.

All those rude and patronizing comments are sexist in themselves.The one who called you a feminist is one hell of a hypocrite too!I Have a phobia of pregnancy too.God I thought I was the only one in the world like that.I find it stupid as hell when a woman wants more children than she can handle emotionally,physically and financially.There are women having LITTERS of children to make up for people like us not wanting kids,and then some.I think they're paranoid that if they change their minds after kids,they see themselves as bad people.And when they do,they take it out on people like us because they're jealous that they are not free from the hell children cause around them.I'm like you though.I'd rather be the auntie,not the mommy.I've already spent most my youth on taking care of my mom and having a reverse role,so I don't need anything harder to mess with my hormones and feelings.

I agree. As of know I don't want children and I don't feel like anyone should be pressured into having kids so they can fit society's standards of what it means to be a woman. I really find comments like "its the greatest gift you can ever give", or" its the greatest feeling in the world", or "this is what you were put on this earth to do" or "this is what makes me a woman" annoying and patronizing, all of which I have had people tell me. That's your opinion that its the greatest thing in the world, it's not true for everybody. You can have an amazing and productive life without having kids, just like you can if you do have kids.

I think you have made a very adult decision at sucha young age (fear I guess) and see absolutely nothing wrong with it. Its better to know yourself earlier on in life rather than later in fact I wish more women would make conscious decisions about motherhood then maybe there would be less child abuse/neglect cases and disfuctional adults as a result of their f***ed up childhood. I don't believe every women was meant to have children because relistically the world be overly populated and as we've already estabblished not everyone is cut out for the job. Whether you decide to have children in the near or distant future is neither here nor there so to any opinionated arseholes who wanna pass judgement you tell them to MIND THEIR OWN cos its nobody's BUSINESS but yours. Love Moi x

some of those comments are awful. I guess in an anonymous forum people say anything.

Wow, I can't believe the comments you get from people!! What society are they from?



I reckon that deep down they are not happy with their own lives and try to make themselves feel better by belittling your choice.



Next time someone says something like that, simply say "You moron" (if you haven't already).



They'll get what's coming to them.