Not Gonna Do It

I really do like (note, not love) kids. I enjoy being around my nieces and nephews and friends' children. But never ever do I want any of my own. My main reasoning is -

  • -I am selfish and I love it. It's just husband my and me and our cats. I wouldn't want it any other way. Most of the below will fall under this broad category.
  • -I never want to be pregnant. If I did ever change my mind about kids I would adopt because this is not a-changin'. I avoid pain as much as possible because I am such a baby about it. I also have a real complex about staying thin forever.
  • -I want to travel extensively. This would be hard with kiddos of my own.
  • -I am obviously not the earth-mother type. I have never had great feelings of warm and motherly affection towards children. Someone like me probably shouldn't have kids.
  • -I do not like babies. Seriously. They weird me out.
  • -The world is overly populated as it is.

This greatly depresses my mother, but like anything in life we can make our own decisions. Why would I have kids just because it is the thing for a married couple to do (according to my mom anyway)?

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11 Responses Apr 13, 2007

oh my gosh, those are my exact reasons and no one around me understands. bums my parents out too, but why in the world would i create new people just because my parents want me to?
can we be best friends??

Good reasons, totally agree.

Well put!

Well put. I feel the same. If one day I want one( hopefully not) I would adopt . There is nothing wrong with adopting . The one that is not going to be happy about it is my mother in law . She wants babies . My husband doesn't want to tell her that we don't want kid , because he doesn't want to make her sad and mad ( she is going to hate me). I really don't care I want to tell her ,so she can stop being annoying . I love kids , but I love my life with out them much more

Being selfish is pathetic. Being glad you are selfish is overpathetic.

I don't have any good reasons for having kids myself. I had decent parents who did all they could to provide me with what I need, but it just doesn't my relationship with either parent is rewarding enough for them to go through all that trouble in bringing me up. I really don't get it.<br />
<br />
But I have seen families that seem to really have joy with each other's company. For them it makes sense. And I kinda envy them. But for me, I'm still not convinced having kids would be fulfilling for me nor for them.

I completely understand and agree with your position on children. I can't recall one time in my life in which I've wanted to have children. I'm actually a little grossed out at how most women behave about pregnancy and birth, and feel like I'm visiting a foreign courty when attending baby showers to support my friends who have children. Pregnancy, birth and child rearing all seen completely unnatural to me, and I don't want to 'hold the baby'. Really. Quit asking. I enjoy my neices, nephews and friends children when they are old enough to interact (age 2-4), and like to care for the people and pets in my life. Why can't people honor my 'childfree' position?

I agree! I like kids when they are old enough to interact with me, but babies, I do not get. I love your "I don't want to 'hold the baby'. Really. Quit asking. " hahahaha Me too!

I salute your opinions and I completely respect them. This just sprung to my eyes.<br />
<br />
"I have never had great feelings of warm and motherly affection towards children."<br />
<br />
My logic tells me that's quite normal since you've never been a mother. I think your feeling would change dramatically if you were suddenly holding your own child in your hands. It wouldn't feel like just some kiddo or some kind of ob<x>ject. But I wish you all the best and thank you for sharing :)

I've had heard that before, the idea that it would be different if it were your child - but that seems like a really big gamble to take. There are plenty of mothers that never bond with their child, and end up hating and resenting them.

I agree. Whatever maternal instinct I have goes towards inanimate ob<x>jects, like my car, or my PS2. :)

It's so refreshing to hear someone with the same point of view instead of being told repeatedly, "Oh your biological clock will kick in sooner or later." Hormones aren't going to change most of the above stated reasons, and secondly, any ounce of maternal instinct I've ever had has gone directly towards animals, never children.

WHAT!<br />
We have a choice whether to have kids or not???<br />
Wish I had known....<br />
heheheheh<br />
<br />
Seriously,<br />
I commend you for knowing what you want.<br />
Maybe get your mother a...puppy?<br />
<br />
Maybe mention to your mother that there is a need for volunteer grandparents for kids who have none?<br />
It is rather like Big Brothers and Big Sisters.