I don't dislike children at all...I don't have children and it just simply didn't happen....but, to be completely honest, I have never thought about having or wanted to have children of my own. Well, apart from for a few minutes after seeing touchy movies that relate to parenthood, etc. My boyfriend has a kid but I wish he didn't. Not that I don't like his son, but I dislike the complication associated with it. I have been showing complete disinterest as I cannot pretend to be interested. If I just try to do what everyone else does and just 'get married and have kids', then, I feel that I will be just pretending to be the same as everyone else. I won't be a good mother if I'm pretending. In the end, I'm becoming too old. Am I doing wrong? Or something is wrong with me?
purly purly
41-45, F
1 Response Aug 23, 2014

To each their own...its a decision possibly you and your partner need to make and you in particular...
maybe because you have any thought about having kids, the entire thought is alien to you...
yes, you will become old and the clock is definitely ticking...dont have a kid because its the thing to do but because you want them...
take care!

Thank you for your advice. I do sometimes think that my life must have been more stable if I have a family...but again, I like to see myself continue pursuing my career, and I like my independence. My partner knows that very well and we are both similar apart from the fact that he has a child whom he only sees briefly on some weekends. While he doesn't want a full custody of his son, he needs to see him. This is actually preventing him from taking on excellent opportunities overseas. I am being honest...I'm as self-centred as anyone else. I feel that once I lose the freedom and independence I have, then I won't be able to have them ever again.

Thats a fair call although its never an easy one to make...
There are many cases of women taking a break to have kids and then joining work back once the baby is old enough...some countries actually have a proper maternity paid break...so you may not lose out much...
its not about being self centred...its how you feel...at this time, I am just thinking that if 40 years ago, your mother would have had the same thoughts, we wouldnt be having this conversation :)
not sure if you are close to your mother or not but I am sure a nice chat with her would help you for sure...