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The Top 10 Reasons....

10. I've got no motherly instinct. I've never felt it at all, even when around babies. I don't see the facination. 9. Screaming and whining just grate on my nerves. 8. Pain of childbirth? No thanks. Stretching out that area down there? No thanks. Chance of ripping up perineium/anal area.......yep.....No thanks. Okay, couple that with all the possible physical effects that can happen. Heck, my mother's uterus started falling (down towards her vajayjay), and she only had one kid. 7. Having to be responsible for another human for at least 18 years? No thanks. 6. Having to spend an untold amount of money on diapers, food, daycare, schooling, clothing, etc for said being. No thanks. 5. Not adding to the overpopulation and enviornmental problems of this planet. 4. Not being able to drop everything and go on vacation, where I want, when I want. 3. There are so many bad genes floating around in my family, those don't need to be passed on. There are enough people in my family doing that. As the generations progress in my family, they seem to be having more and more health problems. Not to mention that I come from butt-ugly lines. 2. I don't want to expose another being to the emotional/verbal abuse I suffered growing up (still happens to an extent, I know it wouldn't change) 1. I have an anger problem. That should be reason enough.
DietIcedTea DietIcedTea 36-40, F 13 Responses May 30, 2009

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I can't discourage folks feeling like you do from having kids because I think it's better that you be content and childless than have children and not really want them

I am a man, so perhaps my comments aren't welcome here, but I admire you ladies who aren't afraid to tell the world how you feel. Some people don't want kids, many frankly SHOULDN'T have kids. There are bad parents everywhere, why do those people get a pass while those who don't have any get dumped on? It is a personal decision, and to anyone who gives any of you a hard time, ask them if they will babysit for you whenever you need, give you money for diapers, come over in 12 years to help with homework, etc. I bet the answer would be no (or a lying yes), so if the haters aren't willing to put their money where their mouth is, tell them to shove it.

I can't say i don't like them - I just don't want them. I used to, but not any more. As I got older, I lost this maternal instinct. I guess. i just have no need for them. I am quite annoyed when I think of having to have kids birthday parties, having to go do and go "kids things/places". I just can't see myself doing it and I think because I so dislike those things I'd be a bad mother. I'm 39 and I feel too old for this. Maybe if I had them earlier I'd be OK, but now, i can't imagine going through all this hassle. Yes, hassle. i think it would be a hassle for me. Plus, I want to do all this different things that I wouldn't be so free to do if I have kids. Selfish? Maybe, but i can't help feeling that way. I am also scared of child birth, have been my entire life actually. The biggest problem is finding a partner that thinks and feels the same. I'd love to have someone that feels the same and is compatible in all other aspects, but I just can't find that person. :(((

Hi DietIced Tea,<br />
I feel almost exactly as you do about this. Please stay strong and know that you are making the *responsible* and *humane* choice by not bringing kids into the world (at least in part) because it wouldn't be fair to the kids. Sadly, many people lack the self-awareness, courage and independent thinking that it requires to take this path.<br />
I hope you never let anyone try to bully you out of what you know to be true. Only incredibly tiny-minded people have the foolish arrogance and disrespectful ignorance to speak as if they know another person's mind better than the person does themselves.<br />
There's nothing more heinously selfish than people who have kids merely because they think it will make them (the parents) feel good.

Well done! I knew from the start I never wanted kids. Doctors wouldn't tie my tubes at 21 when I asked, said I would sue them later if they did it now. I am 51, never had kids, glad as all get out. I agree with most of your reasons and find ALL of them valid.<br />
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Especially the genetic part when I discovered I have a genetic disease which I would pass on to my kids, and it ain't pretty!<br />
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There are too many people in the world and we aren't taking care of them. What is this ego-centric need to procreate? If every unwanted child had a home... well, I still wouldn't want them. I didn't come into this life to be a parent. People don't know that the creation tendency can be turned into the creation of art, business, nonprofit or volunteer work and more.<br />
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I always think of the movie, "Idiocracy"... if you haven't seen it, it is worth a view (comedy).<br />
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I would have written an entry but it would have looked like yours, so I will stick to the comment section!

Daycare cost are a lot.!!! And I don't even live in the most expensive state. I can easily say in the last 6 years for Daycare for my two children has cost me close to $60,000. That doesn't cost the added cost of babysitting if I want to go out on the weekend nights. <br />
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I read from reliable source. I think it was a census that it cost nearly $300,000 to raise a child for 0-18. These are just basic needs not for anything extra like dance lessons or college funds.

I disagree with luvofalifetime, in that she assumes you'll change your mind quickly, dieticedtea. It is never a guarantee that you'll suddenly have an epiphany once the baby is born. There are many women who love their kids, but more so out of mindless obligation, not out of a true desire to. Look at all the women who are severely depressed afterwards, and even feel like they want them "gone," if you know what I mean.<br />
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The bottom line is it is never a guarantee someone will change due to an experience. Like a snowflake, no two people are the same. Did you ever notice when you throw a pebble into the pond, and try to skip it, but then throw another one the same exact way, it doesn't skip the same? In other words, two people can have the same experience, same gender, same background, etc., but handle and respond to the same exact experience completely differently. Because you changed your mind when you had your kids (or simply had your love amplified for kids when you had them), does not equate to anyone else having that same result. <br />
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The bottom line is it does not become a guarantee, but rather your own experience individually owned by you. There's a difference.<br />
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As for me, I am completely content not having kids, and I have no desire for them, for the same reasons dieticedtea mentioned. I applaud you for your honesty. As women, we are typically shamed and guilted when we express our emotions and honesty. There are many people who shun women who feel this way, and you're almost considered a "bad person" or "non-feminine" if you don't want kids.<br />
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I think in this day and age, it is smart to be honest and humble with yourself that you don't want kids, can't afford them, might not make a healthy parent, don't have the patience, or pass on bad genes, etc. Way too many people mindlessly have kids, and put little thought into it. And so the cycle continues of kids growing up mindless as well, and they end up learning what they live. Many parents are horrible at their job; just because you have kids doesn't mean you're good at parenting.<br />
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I think we need more and more women to come forward and not feel bad for not wanting kids. Just because we have a uterus and ovaries, doesn't mean we have a duty to use them. There are many things in life we're given as an option, and it's up to us to decide what is right for us or not.

I WANT TO CLEAR UP MY COMMENT A LITTLE. UNHAPPY NOT BECAUSE OF MY KIDS BUT BECAUSE OF THE MAN I CHOSE TO HAVE THEM WITH--IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD WHEN YOU HAVE AHUSBAND WILLING TO WORK THAN WHEN HE REFUSES TO AND IT IS UP TO YOU TO TAKE CARE OF THEM ! HE FINDS MORE EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING THAN A TEENAGER DOES!

AT THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE--DO NOT HAVE KIDS! I HAVE 2 AND I LOVE THEM MORE THAN LIFE. THE REALITY IS BECAUSE YOU DO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR KIDS-YOU WANT TO DO EVERYTHING TO KEEP THEM HAPPY AND HEALTY AND YOU ARE RIGHT--IT IS NEVER ENDING! IN RETROSPECT,I BELIEVE ALOT OF MOMS' WILL NOT SAY IT BUT I WILL--I WOULD NOT GIVE MY KIDS BACK BUT IF I HAD STUCK TO MY GUNS LIKE YOU---I WOULDN'T BE SO UNHAPPY WITH MY LIFE...

well said.<br />
Many of your reasons for not wanting children match my own

i love kids, i really do... but off late, i too have been on the trip of not ever wanting one, for most of the reasons u have mentioned :)<br />
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Thanks for the post :)

I'm just going to say, it won't happen. I'm not going to feed the bingos that are sure to come if I respond how I want to. So we'll just leave it at that.<br />
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Oh yeah, anybody that reads this and wants to tell me "you'll change your mind". If you have kids, I pose this question to you.....what if you changed yours afer the fact? I know you would never admit to it, but think about it. You can't do anything about now, can you?

i can understand where your coming from but kids are amazing.. if you were to have one of your own i bet you would change your mind quick

Lol