Im Not The Problem

I dont have what i would call friends, to me friendship is everything but not just the word friend everything that comes with word people call themselfs friends yet they hurt and disrespect eachother all the time i dont want that. i am used, manipulated and dragged into peoples issues and put to blame. I dont rise to debate anymore, but its on my mind, no one realizes or even cares or understands if i am involed in something so tidias and heartbreaking i wont stop thinking or anylising it for a month and that brings out the deppression ive been trying to conquer. It ruins my day, week and month, but no one realizes this. if my friends have nothing nice to say i just dont want to know anymore, i would never hurt anyone or spread peoples talk anymore yet people treat me like i have. This damages my mind and i have to try to go back to that happy place, katies the only person that truellly thinks about what she says to me coz she gets the point, i dont have an average mind just an average life, she understands how sensitive i am and how emotional i get, i just will not rise to debate even though i want to so much. Im trying to beat my disorders not make them worse. Friends shouldnt hurt eachother they should care both ways, i will never say everything i want to say to close aquintances, theres no point unless you listen and no one listens to me so there you go, im stuck in pandoras box and i just want out.............
HeadphonesVocal HeadphonesVocal
26-30, M
4 Responses May 26, 2011

I understand I feel the same way. Lately my friends have been treating me badly. They always have a negative comment to say to me. Im the one they usually come to for help and support, but they are never there to return the favor when i need them. instead they all take sides and turn against me. they are alos hipocrits. They always complain about something im wearing when there is nothing wrong with it. I think there is a jealousy thing going on but im not sure. But theyve just been so mean to me lately that i think its time to meet new friends.

Thats so true, my heart dropped, im slowly, ever so slowly losing faith, im just so tired. I try to stay possitive but umm i dunno anymore, im just abit scared and i cant predict anymore.

I just want people to care like i do, a friendship works both ways. I hope your not gowing through what im gowing through its really hard and has almost killed me. Your am amazing person. and deffenately disurve better. Im always here sweety if your gowing through the same stuff. Thankyou for the comment :)

Basically im extremely high maintanance.